Dandy In The Underworld

[Actual Play Report] Villainy Roams the Hill Cantons Unchecked and Unhindered!

2012-02-27T22:43:00.005-05:00

The Following is an Actual Play Report of the Hill Cantons session run by Chris Kutalik on 2/23/12. You can read other reports from the session here and here, but I cannot answer for their veracity.

Dear friends, it is with a heavy heart that I come before you this evening, my sad tale to relate. Yet I must be firm and steadfast, for the very words which pain me to merely recall them, which burn in my breast like glowing embers, speak of nothing less than a danger which threatens us all. My friends, are you aware of the growing epidemic of KIDNAPPING? Gangs of ruthless men, quite abandoned in their ways and heedless of the laws of God and man, roam these hills like unto ravening wolves, preying upon the most frail and tender prey they can find -- our very wives and daughters! Honest matrons, radiant young brides, delicate blushing virgins -- all are borne away in stealth by these fiends, who respect neither property nor status -- indeed, ladies of quality are especially sought after, for the gold these demons in human form can extract from their grief-stricken parents. and they do not limit their depredations to the fairer sex. Sons, fathers, husbands, even valuable household pets-- it matters not to the kidnapper so long as they think to profit from their abduction.

I myself heard the confession of a young man but a few days ago which broke my very heart to hear it. In age and aspect, he could have been my very brother, but while I have repented my youthful folly and devoted myself to the service of the MOST PUISSANT SUN LORD GLORY BE TO HIS NAME, this unfortunate wretch had followed a different path -- a dark, and winding path, which began, as it always seems to, my friends -- as a stroll down a pleasant lane through sun-dappled fields, but soon, with many a twist and turn, he found to be a labyrinth of woe, choked with thorns and brambles. This man had kept bad company, and would while away his days in sin and indolence. He and his fellows were well known to the bawd and the procuress, the keeper of gambling dens and the purveyor of stolen goods. And they amused themselves for a time with such wicked diversions as they found without overmuch diligence, until they decided among themselves to commit a crime of greater villainy than any they had hitherto attempted.

It seems that one of his "friends" -- a confirmed layabout and wastrel, of such softness and effeminacy that but an hour of honest work would leave his hands blistered and bleeding, had taken a wife. Needless to say, he cared not a fig for his husbandly duties, but continued as before, while his unfortunate bride -- a sweet, trusting creature of gentle disposition and becoming modesty -- was left alone to suffer in silence, to endure his thoughtless neglect as best she could. Her father was a man of some means, and with this knowledge in mind, he conceived his vile project. He would, with the assistance of these his co-conspirators, abduct his own dear wife in secret, and line their pockets with the ransom when the dear girl's father had offered it up. My friends, what times are these we live in when the blessed estate of matrimony is exploited in so vile a fashion? We may censure and hold in contempt --- and justly so!-- the husband who not only tolerates the infidelities of his wife, but compounds the transgression by becoming her pander as well, and profiting thereby! My dear friends how much more loathsome is the man who, with foul confederates, their hands stained and reeking from crimes innumerable, captures and imprisons his unsuspecting helpmeet -- she who should command his tenderest devotion-- all for the sake of extracting filthy lucre from his own father-in-law?

My friends, I will not dwell upon the sordid details of this wretched escapade. How they watched and waited, covertly studying their victim's habits. How they, with the practice of foul sorcery and beguiling words did lure the innocent creature and her sworn bondman down a treacherous alley. How the two were captured -- the bondman cut down without mercy, and the hapless bride spirited away to a filthy tenement. No, these crimes can bear only so much light before we avert our eyes in disgust and horror. But there was worse to come, dear friends. For these hard-hearted villains yet possessed a sort of innocence. They believed, for all their blasphemous oaths and swaggering boasts, that the bonds of family were stronger than the love of gold. In this, they found themselves rudely confronted with the vile reality -- like a maiden menaced by a leering pervert from the doorway of some low establishment. The bridegroom, slyly inquiring of his father-in-law's intentions when the abduction became known, was told in no uncertain terms that the girl's life was as dross to him -- the very fruit of his loins could have her pretty throat cut by some murderous transient before he would part with so much as a single piece of copper!"

"My friends, this is a sorry state of affairs. When husbands plot against their wives for base gold -- when honest goodwives are abducted in broad daylight from a busy thoroughfare! When fathers who can well afford it refuse to pay a ransom on their own kin, which, while not an insignificant sum, was certainly within their means! We live in depraved and sinful times, my brothers and sisters, and great will be the Sun-Lord's reckoning when such cupidity and vice run rampant! In such times, the word of the Sun-Lord must be proclaimed from one shining Hill to the next! Repent, oh repent, O my children, and let these Cantons ring with His praises!"

"But what can I do?' you ask. "I am no thief-taker with net and truncheon. I am no doughty warrior, with mail and halberd to defend against the unrighteous. I am no pious priest, whose blessings make the bare branch bud and bloom, and whose curses wither the fruit on the vine.' My friend, I am a simple man, these my companions all simple men, with simple gifts. It is not force of arms we seek in our great enterprise, nor miracles -- the Sun Lord alone can provide such. But we have travelled far, and must travel still farther to preach the good word. And travel takes its toll in blood and sweat. And also money. We do not ask for much dear friends -- but consider! To what purpose had you intended the gold in your purses? Was it to serve some vain fancy? Some vapid bauble to flatter and amuse and TITILLATE? My friends, when you find yourself on your deathbeds --- and the hour comes swiftly!-- what story will your life's ledger reveal?
Think on it, my friends, think on it."

Praise His Sweet Name,

The Reverend Meriwether Chambliss, Col. (ret.) The Sultan of Uqbar's Lancers.

Look at These Album Covers. Also, Teasing Glimpses of Posts to Come.

2012-02-26T22:28:00.004-05:00

Working on a few entries in the draft pile, including but not limited to:

- A Broad Overview of Religion on Galbaruc

- Classes on Galbaruc: Cleric - How I'm handling Clerics in my home campaign, once I get it off the ground. I'm putting in Atheist clerics, which might be a stupid idea, but which made sense to me the other day, and fits with the way I'm envisioning the class in this setting.

- The Space-Race on Galbaruc, and what people there think about the Moon.

- The Supreme Monstrosity: The winged, 9-eyed Dinosaur Satan who is rumored to lair in a cave somewhere on Oriax, and which I stole from TOPPS' Dinosaurs Attack! bubble gum cards from the late '80's.

- The Brazen Head of Criswell, an artifact of dubious, reality-warping prophetic power

- By the way, Oriax has been relocated. It's no longer a planet in its own right, but is a continent on a shared world setting co-owned by me, Evan Elkins, and Robert Parker. We just figured, hey, we're each doing weird space-fantasy desert planets, planets are huge, so why not have it be the same planet.

- An Actual Play report of the Hill Cantons game the other day, according to the Colonel, whose reputation for veracity is matched only by his fearlessness in battle.

But for now, I just want to show you the cover art for this two-part album from Earth, because I think it's absolutely gorgeous.

Marc Bolan Predicted Carcosa Back in 1977!

2012-02-20T22:23:00.002-05:00

The Witch-Man of Hackney with his familiar, Utargh-Thun the Devourer.

It's true.

From "Crimson Moon", a track from the final T. Rex album Dandy in the Underworld.

I'm a chartreuse lover

I'm an indigo man

In the black of the night

I'll hold your lily white hand

Under the crimson moon

Marc Bolan: Electric Warrior, Child of the Revolution, OSR Nostradamus.

When GW Was Quirky and Interesting and More Interested In Making Cool Shit Than Issuing Cease- And- Desist Orders OR: The Games Workshop Staff, Circa 1987

2012-02-19T18:20:00.002-05:00

Looking at the incredible pics Jeff put up recently from the 1983 Citadel Compendium put me on mind of one of my favorite pieces from the original (1987) version of Rogue Trader. It's a group caricature portrait of the GW staff at the time, done up in the early gonzo form of what would become the 40k aesthetic.

To me, it's emblematic of GW's shift from the quirky, individual, and interesting to the dull, impersonal, and monolithic. I think this comes across in every aspect of the company's output. The artwork becomes more consistent and technically refined, but loses the odd, personal, sometimes wildly divergent work of artists like John Blanche, Ian Miller, John Sibbick (remember the punked-out dwarf hacking through the goblin on the over of WFRP 1st ed?), and Martin McKenna, who did the group portrait above and whose pencil work can be found throughout a lot of early WFRP stuff (he did all the interior illos for The Enemy Within: Death on the Reik, for instance) , resulting in a comparatively stagnant, predictable, uniform aesthetic that has more to do with maintaining "brand identity" than anything else. White Dwarf's past awesomeness and sad metamorphosis into little more than a glossy advertising brochure is already well documented here and elsewhere.

I was going to go off on an extended diatribe on the loss of the individual voice/personal aesthetics/creative risk-taking in gaming products and publications, conformity and corporate culture, and a little pom-pom twirling on how, with the OSR and the the indie gaming scene, we're seeing a resurgence in the sort of distinctive personal blah blah blah.... but if you're reading this, you've probably already read several of those, with better writing, stronger arguments, and more exhaustive detail, so for now, I'm just going to say OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT PICTURE OF MUTANT SPACE PUNK GAME DESIGNERS WITH RAYGUNS AND CHAINSAWS.

Well, So Much For the Whole "Frequent Updates" Thing...

2012-02-05T19:49:00.002-05:00

Two weeks already. I'd meant to be more diligent about updating this thing, but time seems to have slipped away from me. Anyway, a few updates:

1. Oriax is not dead, but it has changed shape and location. More on that shortly.

2. I've started showing my artwork at the ZaPow gallery here in downtown Asheville. We're having a party/opening on Feb. 11th, and I'll have a few pieces up for the occasion. There will be live music, free beer, and free ice cream. Anyone who doesn't like at least one of those things is very possibly a Reptoid, or one of the aliens from They Live. They probably also hate laughter, oral sex, monster movies, pretty sunsets, and all mammals. Defy them and attend, at least in spirit. Read more about the event here.

3. Hugo le Bâtard, my character in Jeff Rients' Caves of Myrddin game, has, in collaboration with Darf the Dwarf, opened up a new den of vice and iniquity on the grounds of Hugo's manor house in Cornwall.

Le Lapin Bleu is open for business, and now sports its very own blog. Featuring an expanded set of results for Jeff's famous Carousing Table (as well as an expanded wine list and floor show entertainment), make The Blue Rabbit your FLAILSNAILS PC's #1 destination for spending your ill-gotten loot in style (and away from those busybodies at the Abbey guesthouse).

GM Questionnaire... the Answers May Surprise You!

2012-01-18T17:24:00.002-05:00

Since all the cool kids are doing it:

(from here)

1. If you had to pick a single invention in a game you were most proud of what would it be?

I really liked the necromancy-practicing were-owls I came up with for World of Darkness: Changing Breeds, though I have no idea if anyone ever used them in their own games.

2. When was the last time you GMed?

Way back in Dec. 2, 2011.

3. When was the last time you played?

Jan. 9, 2012 -- I played Hugo le Bâtard, and we ventured into Michael Moscrip's Castle Nicodemus. Vampire books, man. Vampire books.

4. Give us a one-sentence pitch for an adventure you haven't run but would like to.

Bookhounds of Sigil -- you're all skeevy book-trade types dealing with murder, extortion, and rare volumes in a city that's a multplanar nexus point.

5. What do you do while you wait for players to do things?

Jot down little notes to myself, offer unhelpful suggestions.

6. What, if anything, do you eat while you play?

It depends on the time of day. Lately, I've just been playing over G+, so I might have a snack in the evening, or an egg sandwich and a cup of coffee if I'm in Jeff's game at insane o'clock in the morning.

7. Do you find GMing physically exhausting?

Not usually.

8. What was the last interesting (to you, anyway) thing you remember a PC you were running doing?

Co-opening a tavern/cabaret/den of ill repute on the grounds of a manor house in Cornwall.

9. Do your players take your serious setting and make it unserious? Vice versa? Neither?

It's usually a mix. There's the inevitable injection of occasional silliness that occurs whenever a setting is exposed to actual players, but in the past, I've had players do the opposite. I had a character start out as a Skaven captive, which I played fairly lightly, but the player took it to some very dark places indeed.

10. What do you do with goblins?

I haven't done anything with them yet. If I did anything with them, I'd probably use GURPS: Goblins as a source, with the goblins being of variable shape and size depending on their environment/abuses suffered. At one point, I thought it would be interesting if they needed a human to act as their king (I'm thinking of David Bowie in Labyrinth), and they'd find (and abduct) the new king based on a grotesque version of the tests Tibetan monks run through when trying to find the new Dalai Lama.

11. What was the last non-RPG thing you saw that you converted into game material (background, setting, trap, etc.)?

I watched Zardoz again the other night, and swiped several elements from the movie (Zardoz himself, the exterminators, the vortex, etc.) for my campaign setting. The effete, self-destructive Immortals are informing the way I'm handling elves in my game.

12. What's the funniest table moment you can remember right now?

The one that jumps out at me first is from my EPT game. Matthew Miller's character nimbly scales a wall, only to be fried to a crisp by multiple laser beams. The subsequent conversation between the party sorcerer and Matthew's character's ghost made things even funnier.

13. What was the last game book you looked at--aside from things you referenced in a game--why were you looking at it?

Carcosa, because it had just arrived in the mail.

14. Who's your idea of the perfect RPG illustrator?

It really depends on the game, setting, tone, etc. That said, Gustave Dore' was pretty flexable. He could do comic, absurd, creepy, and awe-inspiring -- sometimes in the same illustration.

15. Does your game ever make your players genuinely afraid?

I've been told I've creeped players out before (in a good way), but I dunno about genuine fear.

16. What was the best time you ever had running an adventure you didn't write? (If ever)

Probably The Great Pendragon Campaign, though it unfortunately died before we even got to Arthur's conception. The players were so into the spirit of the thing -- going on quests, fighting Saxons, fathering bastards, etc.

17. What would be the ideal physical set up to run a game in?

Up here in the Appalachian mountains -- outside on a large table after food had been cleared away. It's a crisp early autumn or late summer evening, and there's a few beers and a couple bottles on wine on the table.

18. If you had to think of the two most disparate games or game products that you like what would they be?

The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen and Unknown Armies.

19. If you had to think of the most disparate influences overall on your game, what would they be?

William Blake, James Branch Cabell, and Hollow Earth theories.

20. As a GM, what kind of player do you want at your table?

Clever, easy-going, with a good sense of humor.

21. What's a real life experience you've translated into game terms?

When I was a Classics student, we translated, analyzed, and discussed a lot of Latin poetry. I was in an experimental free-form play-by-post Planescape game once where we took turns GMing in a variety of styles, formats, and POVs. One of my segments was a parody of those exercises and class discussions, with the action of the story being the poem being translated and (erroneously) analysed by students.

22. Is there an RPG product that you wish existed but doesn't?

I want a Call of Cthulhu sourcebook on occult LA -- especially Hollywood -- say from the Silent era to the early '70s.

23. Is there anyone you know who you talk about RPGs with who doesn't play? How do those conversations go?

I don't really talk about RPGs with people who don't play, as I think I'd bore them senseless. My wife has played in the past, and probably will do so again in the future, but it's more of a thing she does with me than something she has a strong interest in for its own sake. But I bounce ideas off her and ask for suggestions all the time. She's a sci-fi/fantasy writer.

[Psychedelic Warlords] Starting Campaign Setting: the Planet Oriax

2012-01-14T02:23:00.006-05:00

So I've been giving some thought to the actual setting for this thing. The idea is to start out on a central hex on one planet, and then expand from there as the players see fit. This limits the scope of the campaign at the beginning, but I find that narrowing down your options at the very start allows for a much easier "buy-in" from players. This way, their options and opportunities for adventure can expand in response to the players' actions and interests. Also, I don't have a huge amount of time for prep, and I'm chronically indecisive. This takes a lot of the burden off of my hands by presenting me with fewer decisions to make over a longer stretch of time.

Anyway, here's what I've come up with so far:

The Planet Oriax, at various points in its history, has been:

- A poisonous, chaotic hellscape - the screaming, malformed, botched abortion of a degenerate star. This rather overheated description can be found in the otherwise sober planetary historian Yivok the Lesser's Lives of the Planets. He maintained throughout his life a particularly violent and irrational dislike for the planet. He would never mention its name directly, referring to it as either "that spherical blasphemy" or, more cryptically, "the bloodshot eye of the anti-Father." When near death, he reportedly asked to be carried out to an orbital observation deck where Oriax could be observed by long-range telescope. Peering through the screen, he excitedly made an obscene gesture in the direction of the planet before expiring, a smile on his withered lips.

- The plaything of a generally irresponsible pantheon of Kirbyesque alien space gods, some of whose descendants exist today.

- The capitol world of at least two galaxy-spanning empires

- A penal colony -- a dumping ground for all manner of criminals, heretics, and madmen.

- A pilgrimage site, famous for its monumental reliquaries, within whose gem-encrusted frames were housed the calcified bones of martyred titan-saints, standing in eternal vigil.

- A hedonic paradise of glittering palaces, calm oceans, and lush pleasure-gardens, serving a technologically and socially advanced society.

At present, it's a blasted, post-apocalyptic wasteland.. There are still forests, seas, jungles, and glaciers, but much of the planet's surface has been given over to desert. The planet's littered with ruined cities and monuments, and the bones of massive extinct beasts bleaching under the harsh sun. Warp-storms crackle across the landscape with alarming frequency, tearing open temporary holes in the fabric of space-time, and leaving madness and mutation in their wake. The great, continent-spanning civilizations of the past have fragmented into small, isolated communities, whose eccentricities have only become more pronounced in isolation. The immortal descendants of ancient Sorcerer-kings spend their days in drug-induced reverie and petty intrigue. Some of these forsake their immortality and leave the safety of their hermetically-sealed crystalline palaces to seek adventure and death in the lands beyond. Rival warlords jockey for position. A few would-be conquerors have attempted to form empires, but so far, the largest political entities are independent towns and loosely-allied city-states. The lands between are filled with strange and terrifying creatures, treacherous geography, fanatical cults, bands of predatory mutants, and the laboratory strongholds of mad wizards.

Oriax today is far from the center of interplanetary politics and trade, and its relative obscurity, dangerous reputation, and lack of many modern amenities make it an unpopular destination for casual tourists, though a few thrill-seekers arrive each solar year. The bulk of off-worlders are adventurers of some description, lured by tales of vast, half-buried wealth, or with ambitions to carve out their own petty kingdoms in a savage world, far from the confines and strictures of life on the core planets. Along with these trickle in a disparate collection of fugitives, refugees, exiles, explorers, spies, heretics, archaeologists, missionaries, and the sort of dangerous eccentrics who can find no employment in civilized space.

NEXT: The Free Town of Pazuzu: part Deadwood, part Tangier -- smack dab in the center of the starting hex.

Psychedelic Warlords: Appendix N in Pictures

2012-01-08T18:29:00.010-05:00

So I'm working on a home campaign of my own for ConstantCon. I plan to do Galbaruc eventually, but with that one, I think I often get bogged down in "getting the tone just right," and developing it as an internally consistent setting. For right now, I thought it would be fun to throw logic and internal consistency out the window and go with something that's been lurking inchoate in the back of my mind for a while.

Here's what I'm going for:

Brief End-of-the-Year Omphaloskepsis

2011-12-31T20:35:00.002-05:00

So I started this thing back in July with this :

I'm starting this blog as a spur for creativity and production, and as an attempt to get past my habits of procrastination, chronic laziness, crippling self-doubt and perfectionism to actually produce something and put it out there for people to see. Time will tell.

It's ostensibly a gaming blog focusing on material for tabletop RPGs, but I'm expecting to veer off into other subjects with some frequency-- movies, comic books, fantasy, horror, science fiction, reviews and essays, and any random things I get interested in or obsessed with. Possibly some fiction as well, though that'll probably be quarantined in its own section.

Let's look at that in some more detail:

"I'm starting this because blah blah crippling self doubt I never get anything done blah blah."

- If that's my stated purpose for doing the blog, I think it's helping me achieve it. I've gone from producing practically nothing to coming out with a good handful of gameable tools, occasional articles, actual play reports, and miscellaneous bullshit -- and it's all been generally well-received. 51 people are publicly following the blog, which is far more than I had imagined going in. So far, the few extended conversations in the comments have been interesting and civil. This positive response has fueled my desire to produce more stuff, which people seem to be using, which makes me happy, and want to produce more, etc. etc.

The other part hasn't quite played out as I'd planned. No real reviews, not a whole lot in the way of essays, and very little on movies, books, and other media. On the other hand, I don't mention artwork at all, and I've done a lot more of that in the past few months than I have in years. I've got a bunch of pieces in Secret Santicore, and another that I hope to see in a published supplement sometime in the new year. In the mean time, I'm gearing up for some collaborative work with my pal Nathan Ballingrud, and I'm working on scraping the rust off my skills and developing them further.

I'm always terrible about keeping New Year's resolutions, so I'm not going to list any here. I'll leave it at this: Personally and creatively, I'm in a better place now than I was at the end of 2010, and I think 2012's going to be even better.

Have a happy New Year, everyone!

Secret Santicore is loose! Head for the Hills!

2011-12-26T16:21:00.001-05:00

Thundering out of the post-Christmas haze like a turkey dinner washed down with too much eggnog,* the Secret Santicore pdf comes winging its way to gamers worldwide, for the low, low price of absolutely nothing. This notice is a bit self-serving, as I've got some art and writing in it, but all glory to Jez Gordon, who lingered in a vale of ashes, tears, and layout issues that the rest of us might bask in the gaming Nirvana that is the finished work. One Hundred and Four pages of decadent, deliriously delicious DIY D&D** delights for your table.

*I'm sure there's a more appropriate metaphor, but I'm in a hurry, here.
** There's at least some Shadowrun and Mutant Future stuff as well, but alliteration, man.

Secret Santicore: New Fantasy Race: VAT- SPAWN

2011-12-18T18:41:00.009-05:00

I never got the requester's name, but here's my entry for Secret Santicore this year:

Request: Dear Secret Santicore...

I request a new fantasy race, not system specific so pick whatever one you are most comfortable with or go system-less.

Thank you very much!

Well, here goes:

Vat-Spawn
by Jeremy Duncan

The sorcerer-kings of old, already worshiped as living gods by their subjects, and having grown bored with merely warping and molding nature to their whim, sought to fully assume the mantle of godhood and create life itself. With arcane secrets dredged up from the earth and sea and called down from the stars, they set to work, their forbidden knowledge wed to the toil of a thousand slaves, alchemists, and sages. At the expense of vast wealth, countless lives, and unquantifiable human suffering, they at last achieved their goal, as the first tottering form rose by its own strength from the vats, to stand complete before its maker.

Pleased with their new plaything, the sorcerer-kings whiled away their idle hours by creating variations and refinements enough to satisfy their immortality-strained appetites. Whole armies of vat-spawn were called up to re-enact legendary battles or duel to the death in elaborately planned and scripted combats. Harems of pleasure-slaves, their every feature sculpted in exacting detail, were bred in the vats to serve at their makers' grand debauches, only to be dissolved again when their masters had tired of their ministrations. So it went, century after extravagant, heedless century, until at last the power of the sorcerer-kings waned, and their empires were toppled amid fire and slaughter. The sorcerer-kings were put to the sword, their pale, anemic blood seeping into the blackened earth to mingle with the spilled ichor of their artificial slaves.

While most of their kind were ruthlessly exterminated, a tiny minority escaped destruction, having been posted to remote corners of the world, or waiting in stasis in their vats in some hidden laboratory. Their makers long since dead, and their original purpose unknown, these creatures, upon awakening and learning something of the world, often turn to adventuring to satisfy their endless curiosity and challenge their strange abilities.

Each vat-spawn is a hairless humanoid, with height and weight in the standard human range, though their features are often somewhat alien to modern observers, recalling ethnicities no longer found among the contemporary population, but glimpsed on the pitted faces of ancient coins, and in worn bas-reliefs on the columns and pediments of sunken temples.

If undisturbed, Vat-spawn are functionally immortal, though they are as susceptible to violent death as any other adventurer. As they are inherently unnatural, they cannot be Raised after death, nor can they reincarnate. Whether they possess souls at all is a matter of considerable theological debate.

They possesses functional genitalia, but are completely sterile.

After every 100 years, the vat-spawn's memory and personality will reset, returning it to 1st level.

Vat-spawn have a vibrantly-colored ichor (roll on color chart) in their veins instead of blood. This ichor has many alleged magical properties, and unscrupulous Magic-Users are always on the lookout for experimental subjects.

All Vat-spawn can graft on and incorporate body parts from humanoids and other creatures, as long as there is sufficient space. Any special abilities or attacks inherent to those parts (a medusa's eyes, etc.) transfer to their new owner. Removing one limb, eye, hand, etc. to make room for a new part inflicts 1d4 damage, after which it it is rendered useless, withering away to nothing. Characters attempting to graft on a new part must Save vs. Poison + the creatures hit dice – PC's level. The grafting process requires one hour * ½ the creature's hit dice of uninterrupted concentration. There are undoubtedly opportunities for abuse, here, but just use common sense or whatever the GM thinks would be funniest.

Roll your character's Ability Scores as normal.

Roll twice (unless otherwise indicated) on Skin/Eye Color chart, twice on Variations A and twice on Variations B, re-rolling in the case of a conflicting result. These indicate the PCs original function, as well as any modifications during his/her unremembered past

d20	Skin/Eye Color	Variations A	Variations B
1	bottle green	Series Number and /or Function title dyed or embossed on skin.	You have infravision, but your eyes glow in the dark.
2	heliotrope	Someone did a half-assed job sculpting your face. - 3 to reaction rolls when/where applicable, but on the plus side, you can easily frighten small children.	Skin prominently stamped or dyed with personal rune of creator.
3	ocher	Skin embossed with a pattern (1-2) spirals (3-4) deep hatching) (5-6) A “Persian rug” pattern that changes with your mood.	One hand can semi-detach & extend + retract 50 ft., connected to arm by ropy tendons. Can support PC + 2d100 lbs and do any normal hand tasks.
4	vermillion	Your skin can temporarily take on the properties of any surface you touch for 2 rounds or more. You retain full flexibility and mobility, and skin reverts to normal in 1d6 turns, which you can extend by spending 1d4 HP per extra round.	Lungs can inflate to extraordinary capacity, meaning that you can go 1 hour of game time without having to breathe. DEX is halved, because you're walking around with your chest puffed out like a bullfrog.
5	turquoise	One forearm is a (1-2) mace (3-4) shortsword (5-6) axe. It does damage as usual and you get a +2 to hit, but you can't really do much else with it.	Your facial features are an exact replica of (1-2) Your creator's own (3-4) their most hated rival (5-6) a legendary hero/ine.
6	pearl	Silly-putty skin: you pick up shallow impressions of anything pressed against your bare skin. This also works with anything drawn or written in ink. Impression lasts 4 days.	You were a Pleasure-Slave! You have enhanced pheromones: +4 to reaction rolls when dealing with (1-4) humanoids of the appropriate persuasion (5-6) GM secretly rolls on wandering monster chart. Other complications may ensue. Also, take a +1 to DEX and CON-- what the hell. Also, your sweat is a mild aphrodisiac. If it's distilled and enters the bloodstream, it's a powerful aphrodisiac, unless they fail a save vs. poison roll, in which case, they take 3d6 damage.
7	indigo	Your body has been indelibly imprinted with (1) an epic poem (2 ) obscene doggerel in an unknown tongue (3) instructions for your intended master/overseer (4) a hymn in praise to a forgotten god (5) the formula for your creation, in an elaborate code (6) a spell (roll randomly )	You have a functional mouth with teeth, tongue, etc. on your (1-3) pick the palm of one hand (4-6) pick sole of one foot. Mouth does 1d4 damage in combat w/ a +2 to hit, can absorb and transfer 1 hp/damage inflicted up to max. Other applications at GM discretion.
8	carmine	Though you are completely hairless, your maker has given you stylized hair and/or a beard as with a clay sculpture.	You have d4 eyes in the back of your head. Cannot be surprised from behind unless wearing helmet.
9	black	You have a small, translucent, circular “panel” of skin over your (1-3) heart (4-6) intestines, allowing these organs to be observed.	The ichor you bleed is phosphorescent (as candle flame)
10	Mottled skin /different colored eyes (roll twice)	You have a ½” x 4” secret hollow compartment in your left forearm. Any item stored there is undetectable by mundane means.	You have gills. These are almost imperceptible slits in the side of your neck when outside water.. Underwater they open up and you can breathe normally.
11	mauve	Short, irregular spirals of a coral-like substance sprout from the top of your head (roll for color). You do an extra d4 damage with a headbutt, and the growths count as a helmet.	Designed for infiltration: +2 to DEX, chameleon skin: acts as Invisibility spell, but it hurts and you must be naked. Every round you have it activated, roll a d4. On an odd result, you take that much damage each time until you pass out.
12	charcoal	Eyes can extend/retract on flexible stalks up to 50 ft (while retaining function). While this is going on, you must remain absolutely still, and you are disoriented and completely helpless (worst possible AC) for one round after they pop back in.	Your bones are weirdly flexible and easy to dislocate. With one round's worth of preparation, you may squeeze into a space normally accessible to Small creatures, but your ST and DEX are halved until you are able to pop yourself back into place (1 round).
13	violet	Created for the Arena! : +2 to STR and CON, can spend 1d4 HP to immediately upon being hit to seal up wounds and take ½ damage. If the damage you would've taken was more than ½ current HP, you lose a limb (GM discretion) and gain a fresh, sealed-over stump.	Every 6 months of game time, your character molts, his/her skin flaking off to reveal new skin underneath. Roll again on color table for your brand new skin! Everything else remains as it was.
14	sky blue	Your ichor corrodes metals like a rust monster. When damaged, this applies to any metal armor you happen to be wearing. If you are struck and damaged by a metal or metal-tipped weapon, the attacker must roll a d6. On a 1-5, the weapon (or the metal part, anyway) dissolves into useless flakes of rust. Lots of other fun uses!	Your saliva acts as a hallucinogen. In addition to everything else that might imply, if a Magic-User drinks a few drops of it, mixed into any beverage, it will impart startling revelations of the cosmos and the innate mystic potential of every star, drop of rain, and blade of grass. When they recover in d20 hours, they will have gained a one-time permanent +1 bonus to WIS.
15	lime	When under considerable stress (like combat, taking a difficult exam, or being chased by monsters), your skin darkens slightly and hardens into tiny, raised spikes, like on a horned lizard, making you look even freakier and giving you a +1 bonus to AC. This effect lasts until the immediate danger is past. Depending on the material, your characters' clothing may then be covered with tiny holes. If PC is sneak- attacked, etc., the AC bonus isn't applied until after damage (if any) is taken.	An hour after grafting on a new part, and until that part is detached or destroyed, you gain the ability to verbally communicate with and understand members of that species. For responding to non-verbal forms of communication, you have some ability, but are still somewhat limited by your own anatomy. For example, you would be able to perceive and understand scent-messages left by creatures that communicated by smell, but you would not be able to leave messages of your own without incorporating the necessary scent-glands, etc.
16	crimson	You may perfectly mimic any sound you hear at least once, but the mimicry must be exact – no improvising.	Body covered in tiny, iridescent scales.
17	Two-toned (roll twice, decide areas of division)	You can absorb liquid through your pores at the rate of 1 pint/round, storing it in elastic subcutaneous pouches, to a maximum of 2 gallons, at which point, your Dex is halved until the moisture is expelled (the rate of which can be as fast or slow as the player desires).	Your hands and toes have tiny suction cups on them allowing you to climb up and down (and cling to: max weight= PC+2d100 lbs.) sheer surfaces if gloveless and barefoot.
18	puce	When struck and damaged by a (non magical) weapon, you may sacrifice an additional d4 hit points to make it stick – your flesh temporarily fuses with the striking surface, making it impossible for the wielder to dislodge it. The effect lasts 1d4 rounds + 1 for each point of damage the weapon originally inflicted.	Such is your physical control that you can stop your own heartbeat and cease breathing, entering into a state completely indistinguishable from death. Since Vat-spawn are immortal, this can theoretically last indefinitely. To come out of stasis, the PC must either set a time beforehand, or arrange some signal (a tap on the forehead, a whispered word in the ear). If the signal isn't given, the PC will remain in stasis forever, and the player should probably roll up a new character.
19	rust	You may transmit psychic messages via drops of your ichor, which may then be imbibed, injected, etc; by someone else. One word per drop. Message is not diluted if mixed with other liquids. Costs 1 HP, unless you're transmitting a novella or something.	Your body can secrete sharp, hardened darts, which can be fired (once/round) through the palm of your hand. You have a +1 to hit with this “weapon” and each dart does 1d6 damage. Range is 20 feet. Generating darts costs 1 HP each, which are restored after a full night's rest.
20	amber	Your skin is soft to the touch, but shiny and reflective like polished chrome. Opponents attacking you in bright sunlight (assuming at least some skin is visible) do so at a -2 penalty. Also, you have no body odor of any kind, making you impossible to track or detect by scent alone. The GM can impose penalties to attempts to hide as the situation warrants.	Your palate is super-sensitive, and you can clearly distinguish and identify the ingredients of any compound. You know the joke about the wine snob, where he's given a glass of someone's urine to drink, and then asked, “But whose is it?” Well, you can narrow it down to species (if that's an issue) sex, age, diet, and habits (smokes, uses expensive hair pomade, etc.).

Level	XP	Hit Points	Paralyze	Poison	Breath Weapon	Magical Device	Magic
1	0	1d8	10	8	12	14	15
2	2,500	+1d8	8	8	11	12	14
3	5,000	+1d8	8	8	10	12	14
4	10,000	+1d8	6	6	10	12	12
5	20,000	+1d8	4	6	8	12	12
6	40,000	+1d8	4	4	8	10	10
7	80,000	+1d8	4	4	8	10	10
8	160,000	+1d8	4	4	6	10	10
9	320,000	+1d8	4	2	6	8	10
10	480,000	+3*	2	2	4	8	8
11	720,000	+3*	2	2	4	6	8
12+	150,000/level	+3*/level	2	2	2	6	6

*constitution modifiers no longer apply

Galbaruc: Origins and 'Appendix N'

2011-12-11T16:57:00.009-05:00

Since I've mentioned Galbaruc a few times now without giving out too much in the way of detail, I thought I'd take the opportunity to shed some more light on the setting itself, where it came from, where it's going, and what books, movies, etc, I've ~~ripped off wholesale~~ drawn inspiration from.

It started out as an ad hoc setting for a game I ran for some friends over IRC chat, sometime around 2003-4. The city was originally called "Venichmar," since I had pictured it in my head as a vague mashup of 17th-18th century Venice and Fritz Leiber's Lankhmar. It was only intended as a jokey placeholder, but the name stuck, though I always said I'd eventually come up with something else, but that wasn't until earlier this year, when I shoved it together with the seaside town I came up with for Chris Kutalik's Nautical Contest. The PCs originally consisted of:

- Marcos Gemulphen, played by my friend Clement. Marcos was a disgraced merchant-prince who was constantly shadowed by three demons he had summoned, but which only he could see and hear. Picture one of Jack Vance's stylish, amoral vagabonds.

- Durgu Nietzelschnitzel - an earth-sorcerer, philosopher, and skeptic. Based, at least in appearance, on Friedrich Nietzsche. Was constantly trying to argue against the literal existence of Marcos' demon companions. Played by my friend Jude.

- Arthurien La Fleur d'Avelin, esq., Gentleman Errant of the Elder branch of House Averoen, ruling family of Verrantz, Lieutenant in the Thaugarin Militia. Played by Doug, who I haven't heard from in years. Another privileged son of the elite, he was a roguish, hedonistic young military officer doing his utmost to shirk his duty. Could be incredibly reckless with his personal safety at times, on account of being a Struldbrug.

- Gurgie, Durdu's wayward son, appeared in one episode as the PCs found themselves stranded on the island where he had been exiled for unspecified crimes. If I remember correctly, this adventure resulted in the establishment of a Lord of the Flies- like cult based around the worship of Marcos' demons being established among the islanders (all exiled convicts).

Their adventures included:

- various comedy-of-manners intrigues involving inheritances, servant girls, distant relatives, debauchery, and attempted murder

- swordfights in alleyways with a gang of thugs and their pet monster

- taking refuge in a crumbling mansion inhabited by creepy undead monstrosities.

- Starting the adventure on trial for some unspecified offense which grew in the telling, and escaping the courtroom by means of a grain of sugar Durgu cast a spell on, which grew into an enormous sugarcane stalk. They climbed up and out of the courtroom on the stalk, at one point encountering some junior angels in one of the Lower Heavens, who they then blackmailed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The game was originally run using Over the Edge, and the feel I was going for was Baroque, Weird, and Picaresque. Eventually, the game just kind of fizzled out, but I kept it in the back of my mind as an interesting setting that I wanted to develop further.

Eventually, I want to open up the setting for some G+ games, using LotFP for the rules, with some houserules and parts of Small But Vicious Dog. Transferring the setting from its hippy-Narrativist roots to something more D&D oriented will be an interesting challenge, and whenever I start getting too precious about it, I remind myself of Tekumel. The setting is essentially the same across the board, but it supports a broad range of assumptions and play styles, from EPT's dungeon-crawling barbarians to Tsóludhàliyal's focus on the high-stakes adventures an maneuvering of wealthy elites.

Also, the setting is nicely amorphous -- I don't have a static, canonical list of factions, gods, and locations, and I can build it as I go. So far, this is what's established:

- The primary religion on Galbaruc is the Church of Urizen, though there's a multitude of former and indigenous minor gods, cults of former gods syncretized into saints, etc.

- Magic is largely practiced by secret schools, orders, and societies, which often have philosophical, social, and political interests. Magic-users operating outside these groups are viewed with a mixture of envy, disdain, suspicion, and murderous rage.

- While there is a traditional aristocracy, Galbaruc is a Republic, heavily based on pre-unification Venice.

- Galbaruc is a colorful, bizarre, decadent city -- a flurry of frenzied activity, sober tradition, and ecstatic ritual, set against a backdrop of slow, magnificent decay.

- There are islands some miles from the coast, ruled by semi-autonomous "Island Princes"-- descendants of slaves, pirates, and renegade nobles who were instrumental in fighting for the Republic's independence when it split from the Empire that had ruled it for centuries. In times of war, they supply ships, troops, and armaments to Galbaruc's navy. During times of peace, they busy themselves with internecine wars and deadly intrigues.

- The city-state is littered with ruins, catacombs, and strange, isolated communities.

If we apply Jeff Rient's threefold model, Galbaruc as a setting is largely made up of Pretentious, with Retro taking up a close second, and with a great big dollop of Stupid.

--------------------------------------------------------------

'APPENDIX N'

- This list isn't nearly complete, but hopefully, it should give some idea of the setting, and the general feel I'm going for.

Literature:

Bey, Hakim - TAZ: The Temporary Autonomous Zone, Ontological Anarchy, Poetic Terrorism
Blake, William - The Prophetic Books
Borges, Jorge Luis - misc. works
Boswell, James - Journals
Bunyan, John - The Pilgrim's Progress
Cabell, James Branch - Jurgen, etc.
Casanova, Giacomo - Memoirs
Fielding, Henry - The Adventures of Tom Jones, a Foundling and Joseph Andrews
Mandeville, John - The Travels of Sir John Mandeville
Potocki, Jan - The Manuscript Found in Saragossa
Rabelais, Francois - Gargantua and Pantagruel
Raspe, Rudolf Erich - The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Stephenson, Neal - The Baroque Trilogy
Stevenson, Robert Louis - The Suicide Club and Other Stories
Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels
Vance, Jack - The Dying Earth, etc.
Vandermeer, Jeff - City of Saints & Madmen
Voltaire - Candide
Wilson, Robert Anton - The Historical Illuminatus Chronicles

Misc 'NonFiction':

The Elizabethan Underworld - Gamini Salgado
The Hell-Fire Clubs - Geoffrey Ashe
The Black Arts - Richard Cavendish
Ancient Wisdom and Secret Sects - Time-Life Books
London: The Synfulle Citie - E.J. Burford
Life in Dr. Johnson's London - Richard B. Schwartz
Special Cases: Natural Anomalies and Historical Monsters - Rosalind Purcell
The Morning of the Magicians - Louis Pauels and Jacques Bergier

GAMING:

Agone (Multisim)
Lace & Steel (AGC, Pharos Press)
GURPS: Goblins (Steve Jackson Games)
GURPS: Swashbucklers (Steve Jackson Games)
Flashing Blades
Planescape campaign setting (TSR)
The Dying Earth RPG (Pelgrane Press)
Over the Edge (Atlas Games)
Call of Cthulhu (Chaosium)
Stormbringer (Chaosium)
Vornheim: The Complete City Kit (LotFP)
In A Wicked Age (lumpley games)
Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, 1st and 2nd ed. (Games Workshop, Hogshead Publishing, Black Industries)

FLICKS:

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
The Brothers Grimm
Barry Lyndon
Joseph Andrews
Tom Jones (miniseries)
A lot of Hammer horror films
Naked Lunch
The Devils
Vidocq
The Saragossa Manuscript

Artwork:

Ian Miller
Mervyn Peake
Henry Fuseli
Egon Scheile
Gustav Klimt
William Hogarth
Gustav Dore
Harry Clarke
Aubrey Beardsley
Sidney Sime
Edmond Dulac
E.J. Sullivan
Rene Bull
Jean Delville
William Blake
Francisco de Goya
Gustave Moreau

Gygaxian Naturalists: Your Campaign's Monster Manual According to the Players

2011-12-05T01:00:00.002-05:00

This may have been proposed before, but just in case it hasn't...

So I was thinking about Galbaruc, and monsters, and how I wanted to handle monsters in my campaign setting, and what I wanted to emphasize, and avoid, and I got to thinking about a session of Jeff Rient's Caves of Myrddin campaign I was in a few weeks ago. We were somewhere beneath the East Tower, having just descended to a new level, and we encountered a grayish, winged creature we took to be a gargoyle. This prompted a brief discussion on whether or not our characters would know what it was, let alone its strengths and weaknesses, etc. And then Jeff said we were free to use any out-of-character knowledge we wanted. In fact, we were welcome to open the book right there on the spot, and look up the relevant entry.*

This came as something of a shock to me. For most of my (admittedly short, by community standards) gaming career, this simply WAS NOT DONE. "Metagaming" was high on the hierarchy of sins. This was madness. This was the Pope handing out condoms at a Pride rally.

So we looked up the entry, decided we had very little chance of taking on such an opponent, and ran like hell. But I didn't trust the entry anyway. The whole thing made me paranoid. No, there was a reason Jeff was so blase about the whole thing. This wasn't a gargoyle at all. Or maybe it was, but it had some kind of crazy anti-gargoyle powers and shot napalm out of its nipples or something.

I loved that feeling of uncertainty-- of having information right in front of you, but not quite being able to trust it. For all I know, Jeff might simply be running with absolute transparency, and I was getting all worked up for nothing.

But this made me think about Herodotus' History, medieval bestiaries and the accounts of early travelers and explorers. We've got information, sometimes very specific information, but it's not exactly reliable. Often, this information is second-hand at best, and you have writers and illustrators, often with the best will in the world, working from garbled accounts. And all this is further confused by a thick fog of lies, exaggerations, wishful thinking, and pious tempts to imbue these creatures with religious symbolism. I have a T.H. White translation of a medieval bestiary that describes the panther as a symbol for Christ, attests to the miraculous ability of the beaver to detach its own genitals (and thus become a symbol of chastity) and depicts the crocodile as some kind of wolf-creature with eagle talons.

This would be perfect for gaming, and even better for ConstantCon games, where you have a nice big pool of players and their characters hopping from game-world to game world. There's already a sizable amount of rumor and speculation flying around about the Caves of Myrddin, for example.
The PCs are explorers -- they venture into bizarre, uncharted territories and CHART THEM. Dungeons are explored, passages marked, traps, secret doors, and mysterious items cataloged and referenced for later use. Secrets are bought, sold and traded. Bounties are offered by other players for the heads of particular miscreants.

There's really no reason monsters can't work the same way. The party encounters some strange critter or swarm of critters they've never seen before. Half the party is wiped out, but the survivors take notes. "Large, single red eye and a black beak, wings, covered in dense, foul-smelling white fur. Can breathe paralyzing fog at least once a round. We needed at least a 16 to hit, so AC is 3 or lower. The one we killed was still alive after we did 18 damage to it, but then the cleric (God rest his poor soul) got it for 8 points in a single hit and killed it, so we know it had somewhere between 19 and 26 Hit Points. They seem to travel in packs of 3-5."

Later, these creatures acquire a name, maybe a sketch from someone whose character encountered one, or, even better, someone reading that person's account of the encounter. Rumors about possible weaknesses are raised. What if it's some kind of demon. Would Holy Water affect it? Only one way to find out... G+ chat sessions become Explorer's Clubs. "Didn't you try smearing your faces with gnoll bone marrow, old boy? No?"

*Now that I think about it, this may have just been so we'd stand around dawdling and he'd have an excuse to roll for Wandering Monsters

EPT: Thursday Night on the Island

2011-12-03T14:50:00.002-05:00

The Foreign Quarter of Jakalla has been abuzz lately with talk of the latest expedition to the Manse of Kotaru hiChakresa.

- Two stout warriors, Dagazar (Evan Elkins) and Orin "the Witless" (Jason Kielbasa) and a priest, Orin "The Wise" made their way to the mysterious island.

- They encountered two small boats already on shore, and, after some deliberation, decided not to ascend the steep, rock-hewn staircase, but to circumnavigate the island,looking for another point of entry. At the southern tip of the island, they found the mouth of a sea-cave.

- Upon entering, they found themselves in a small chamber that proved to be part of a larger complex. They also seem to have found some treasure, to judge from their satisfied expressions upon returning.

- Shortly after they began exploring the complex, they found themselves assaulted by a number (which seems to vary with each telling) of human foes. Dagazar has been proudly wearing the mummified, shrunken heads of two of these adversaries (a male and a female) from his belt.

Dagazar's own account of the expedition can be found here.

My Empire of the Petal Throne Game: the setup.

2011-12-01T00:52:00.002-05:00

I probably should've mentioned this before, but I've been running Empire of the Petal Throne on Google Plus. I've been running it in conjunction with Chris Kutalik over at Hill Cantons, and we've hashed out a set of FLAILSNAILS-style conventions: The Jakalla Protocols as well as some houserules. Both games are set, as the name suggests, in and around the Tsolyani port-city of Jakalla, the "City Half as Old as the World" -- a teeming, decadent southern metropolis, where the PCs, bas fresh-off the-boat barbarians, attempt to earn gold, glory, and citizenship. To this end, we've staked out different locations -- Chris' games have focused on a section of the Jakalla Underworld - the labyrinth of tunnels, ruins, and passageways that lies beneath the city, while I've set up shop on a little island off the coast, where a member of a prominent clan has an ancestral manor house. We're both kick-starting our games again, after a brief hiatus, and I thought I'd share something about mine.

Here's what you know:

- The house currently belongs to Kotaru hiChakresa of the Golden Sunburst Clan.

- He hasn't been seen in over a decade, during which a meshqu plaque outside the gate has declared that he is indisposed and must not be disturbed.

- His clan suspects he may be dead, but, due to the strictures of Tsolyani etiquette, they cannot directly violate his publicly-stated wishes. Meanwhile, the house and the surrounding grounds have fallen into disrepair.

- His grand-niece, Mara hiChakresa, offers 300 kaitar per person to the party that can either provide irrefutable proof of his death, or convince him to sign a contract relinquishing the property back into the ownership of the clan as a whole. In addition, the Deputy Sub-Minister for the Housing of Foreign and Indigent Persons owes her a favor, and would be able to furnish the necessary paperwork to secure better housing for the party (most of whom are languishing in the Tower of the Red Dome, a notorious, vermin-infested flophouse.

- Kotaru hiChakresa is/was quite wealthy and had/has a reputation as something of a sorcerer.

- One adventurer has died trying to scale the wall. When he reached to top, he was incinerated by numerous beams of light.

- Undead caretakers have been found roaming the grounds outside the wall, and in the lighthouse. All encountered so far have been destroyed.

- There are hostile creatures of some sort inhabiting the nearby caves. It had been proposed that the caves might contain a secret passage to the manor house, though this theory has yet to be tested, as the party was attacked by arrow-firing assailants shortly upon venturing inside.

[NSFW] Ken Russell: 1927-2011 -- Thanks for 84 years of Beauty, Grotesqueness, and Lusty Excess

2011-11-28T16:16:00.008-05:00

My favorite movie director died last night. The list of adjectives that were typically trotted out to accompany his often hostile reviews included: "vulgar," "tasteless," "shrill," "camp," "trashy," "exploitative," "lurid," "overheated," and "self-indulgent."

These are not, strictly speaking, inaccurate impressions. But if these are vices, then he made a unique virtue of them, and he never committed the far more common and far more damning sin of churning out work that was boring, trite, safe, and thoroughly respectable. I can't think of anything else to say right now that gets across the impact-- the lyrical, brain-shattering jolt this man's work has had on me, so I'll shut up for now and let the work speak for itself.

NOTE: Some of the following video clips would probably not go over well in an office environment, a day care, or a convent. Please exercise discretion.

Empire of the Petal Throne Character Sheet, and Brief Update

2011-11-26T11:53:00.004-05:00

- So I made a character sheet for the original, 1974 Empire of the Petal Throne RPG. It's not perfect, by any means, but I hope it'll be useful. I know next to nothing about imaging, layout, and design software (I put it together on MS Word) so feel free to make any adjustments, improvements, or embellishments on it as you see fit -- just let me know so I can link to it, and use it myself. You can find it (in .pdf) in the "Downloads" sidebar to the right.

- I just realized that a few of those downloads were set to "private" so if any of you were trying to download a pdf and couldn't access it, they should all work now.

- "Rival Adventuring Parties" has been fixed so that it actually functions as a table.

Solomon Kane Wishes Ye Gluttonous Wretches a Happy Thanksgiving*

2011-11-24T10:58:00.006-05:00

Everyone's favorite Puritan** bids you enjoy your nourishing repast and good fellowship (without ever losing sight of the fact that feasting, like all fleshly pleasures, is vain and fleeting, and that your sinful bodies are destined to fatten the worms even as the turkey does your mortal frames).

*Yeah, I know there's a distinction between Puritans and Pilgrims, but there's that hat...

** A pretty short list, as it turns out:
1. Solomon Kane
2. John Milton
3. ?

These Guys are Getting Statted Up and Dropped Into Galbaruc

2011-11-22T00:40:00.005-05:00

Well, not on the city itself, but beneath it, sure, and in lonely places in the wilderness, and beneath the sea, and inhabiting strange, unexplored islands. I found these pseudo-Rabelasian monstrosities on the always-excellent Monster Brains yesterday, and they're exactly the sort of bizarre creepy-yet-somewhat- whimsical monsters I want to use in my setting. They look like the guys who were taking a cigarette break when it came time for the Temptation of St. Anthony, or something Sir John Mandeville saw on his travels while tripping on strange drugs with Prester John.

Here's a few:

What Galbaruc Looks Like [part 1 of ?]

2011-11-17T19:20:00.004-05:00

Miscellany and Update: 11/15/2011

2011-11-15T14:40:00.000-05:00

1. If you're not playing in Jeff Rients' Caves of Myrddin game, you're really missing out. Odds are, if you're reading this, you're reading his blog already and have heard the wild rumors and speculations of this dungeon haunted corner of Cornwall. If the schedule (Jeff starts at 4:30 am CST) is putting you off, take a chance and sign up anyway. I'm not a morning person in the slightest, but it's been more than worth it, every time. In addition to being some of the most fun I've had at a gaming table, virtual or otherwise, each session doubles as a master-class in how to run a challenging, compelling, and satisfying game of Old School D&D (we're using B/X).

2. Jack Shear, author of 13 Flavors of Fear: Weird Setting Sketches for Lamentations of the Flame Princess (yer humble narrator has some material in the appendix) has just come out with a new blog: Tales of the Grotesque and Dungeonesque. And he starts it off with a bang -- 100 strange and phantasmagorical things to happen to your players when they miss a session. Check it out!

3. After a lengthy hiatus, I've started breaking out the art supplies again over the last month. I'm still experimenting and re-learning how to draw, but it's very satisfying to get ink and graphite (I haven't tried painting again yet) on paper. Here are a couple of recent attempts:

Beyond Good and Evil: "Charming" and "Tedious"

2011-10-28T17:59:00.002-04:00

I was thinking about this Oscar Wilde quote the other day:

"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious." *

At the risk of being tedious myself, I'd like to propose the following as an RPG thought experiment. It's not particularly profound, but it might be amusing. Strip out the "Good" and "Evil" from the standard AD&D alignment chart and replace it with "Charming" and "Tedious" -- so you end up with Lawful Charming, Chaotic Tedious, and so forth. I can't remember the number of "fictional character alignment charts" I've seen, sifting everyone from different iterations of Batman to the cast of Family Guy into the classic 3x3 grid, and I'm curious to see what such a chart would look like with that substitution. Take a character from real life, comics, books, TV, etc,, and drop them in. Take a character you're currently playing, and see where they fall on the grid. Just off the top of my head, Special Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks would occupy one end of the spectrum at Lawful Charming, while the late Muammar Gadaffi and, say, internet trolls typify Chaotic Tedious.

*Lady Windermere's Fan (1892)

Gods of Galbaruc: Seppophis the Huntress

2011-10-21T17:36:00.003-04:00

I posted this to Gorgonmilk's blog a little while ago, and thought I'd put it up here, along with a sketch. At this stage, Galbaruc is less a coherent, codified setting than a dumping ground for stray D&D ideas, but its slowly taking shape as its own thing.

I have a rough idea of that the city-state looks like, some of its institutions, even the way people dress, but there's no map yet, and not much of a detailed history. It was originally a mercantile and naval hub of a now-extinct empire. Like Haiti, it was born out of a slave revolt, the uprising swiftly joined by those aristocrats who saw where the tide was turning and switched sides while they still could. The fact that their descendants still retain a considerable amount of power and influence in the modern Republic is galling to some, but too much harping on this point is generally seen to be in bad taste. As a result of its origins, slavery per se is absolutely forbidden in Galbaruc and its territories, though there is an elaborately detailed system of indentured servitude.

Anyway, that's about all I've decided on for the history of the city-state. Future posts will deal with imported religions such as the Cults of Urizen and Orc, monsters, electoral fraud, coffeehouses, the Island Princes, piracy, drugs, conspiracies, the variability of goblins, and the cursed bloodlines of the Struldbrugs.

I talked about one local goddess (and one of her festivals) here. Here's another:

Seppophis the Huntress, Mistress of Snares and Entanglements. NE.

Usually depicted with the body of a nubile dancing girl holding aloft a length of rope and a dripping, barbed javelin. In place of her head is a mass of long spider's legs, extending in an irregular nimbus past her shoulders. She is the patroness of all who earn their living by pursuit and evasion, by enticement and sudden surprises. Thieves and other scofflaws on the run attempt to propitiate her with substitute sacrifices (she is believed to be partial to trapped, but uninjured flies) while watchmen, bounty-hunters and and frustrated revengers hope to secure her blessing as they pursue their quarry. Brigands and pirates offer prayers and sacrifices for wealthy, unguarded victims. Prostitutes, jewelers, and perfumers give her reverence, as do all manner of mountebanks and swindlers.

Every year, in Galbaruc, an elaborate ceremony takes place on the Street of Crushed Petals in which a fantastically costumed and masked troupe of stolid, upright citizens and officials representing Law square off against their opposite number, representing Chaos. Through a series of competitive dances, recitations, songs, and feats of strength and cunning, two opposing champions are chosen -- suitors to the goddess, and these are led in a winding parade to the outskirts of the city, to the cave believed to be the entrance to Seppophis' lair. Both champions enter the cave, though only one will emerge in the morning, maddened and screaming. The other has been taken as the Consort of Seppophis, and is never seen again. His faction will enjoy a bonus to all activities relating to their trade for the remainder of the year.

When Seppophis deigns to take human form, it is either in the guise of a slim, dark-haired girl, smelling faintly of cloves and cinnamon, or of a gaunt, silver-haired matriarch of no known family line. She is attracted to scenes of intrigue and hopeless entrapment.

State of the Dandy: 10/08/2011

2011-10-08T02:25:00.004-04:00

Some of you may have noticed that posting frequency has dropped significantly of late. I originally intended to update the thing at least a few times a week. That later dropped to once a week, and from there, it's gone steadily downhill. The main reason for this is that I've taken on a second job. While this has improved things on the "being able to pay the rent, start paying off student loans, and not having to stockpile ramen" front, it's definitely thrown a damper on things as far as rhapsodizing on the theory and practice of pretending to be an elf goes.

"Believe me that's the last thing I'd like to throw."

But anyway, I'm hoping to get things moving again, with more frequent posting, and more interesting content. Here's what's currently in the works:

1.

I'm planning to run a regular "mini-sandbox" campaign on Google + set about a generation after the death of Alexander the Great. While this is set in a specific historical context, I'm going for a looser, sword-and-sorcery feel than a strictly historical one. I'll be using Paul Elliott's excellent Warlords of Alexander along with a custom version of BRP consisting of elements swiped and modified from RuneQuest 2nd ed., Stormbringer, Elric!, and Call of Cthulhu, as well as bits of Pendragon and WFRP. This mutant hybrid, under the working title "Hellenistic FrankenQuest" is my current pet project. Luckily, a lot of the work has been done for me, and what I'm left with mainly consists of choosing which parts to scrap, which to tinker with, and which to keep whole. I'm definitely keeping hit location, for instance, but replacing the multiple rolls with the WFRP method, which reduces to-hit and hit location to one percentile roll (you roll under your score to hit, and then flip the number to find the location).

The nice thing about using BRP is that Elric! and Call of Cthulhu spells (of which there are a great many) can be freely inserted into the game with minimal fiddling. Pendragon's Glory rating (here renamed Kleos) charts your PCs growing fame and importance. Eventually, a character with high enough Kleos can achieve godhood, though your sphere of influence may revolve around a particular city and might only take effect posthumously.

I intend to make this campaign based on a location, rather than a consistent party, as Jeff Rients is doing with his Caves of Myrddin game. This means a lower commitment from those involved, and an ever-shifting cast of characters, with perhaps a couple regulars. The city of Trapezos, on the Black Sea, is the most tempting candidate right now. There are pirate raids at sea and along the coast, monsters in the hills and ruins outside the city, all manner of intrigue within, and innumerable petty kingdoms to the south.

2. The Tekumel- LotFP conversion is temporarily on hold, as I'm still waiting to hear back from the Foundation re: some questions I had. Also, I'm having a blast running and playing EPT right now, so I'm a little less interested in rules- tinkering with this particular setting at the moment. The next Tekumel thing I do will probably be the Jakalla Encounter Table.

3. City- State of Galbaruc - This began as part of an entry for Chris Kutalik's Nautical Contest, but the more I thought about it, the more potential I thought it had for a setting of its own, and the perfect place to bring together a lot of setting ideas that had been bouncing around without a fixed abode for some time. I ran an IRC game several years ago set in a city I half jokingly referred to as "Venichmar" (Venice + Fritz Leiber's Lankhmar). Eventually, it became something a bit more interesting and complex than the derivative name would suggest, but the game folded before I had an opportunity to really work out much of the detail. I'll deal with more of the particulars in a future post, but here are a few of the influences I'm drawing on, here:

- Mediterranean islands like Malta, Sicily, and Sardinia
- Over the Edge's Al Amarja
- Ahistorical, but leaning toward an Early Modern period feel (16-18th centuries) as opposed to Medieval.
- William Blake's cosmology and pantheon (Los, Urizen, Orc, etc.,) intermingled with other strange local gods.
- Pirate Havens
- The Saragossa Manuscript
- Ancestor-worship among traditional nobility
- Jacobean revenge tragedies

4.

This isn't so much a concept for a single, discrete setting as a toolkit for running sci-fi games in a trippier vein suggested by early Heavy Metal comics, Metabarons, Jodorowsky's abortive attempt at Dune, stoner metal, psychedelic rock, (Hawkwind's Space Ritual, etc.) movies like Zardoz, etc. Still really vague, but it's something I'd eventually like to do.

5. Even more nebulous at this point, but I have a broad concept for a LotFP adventure with conquistadors in not-South America called Dreams of Blood and Gold. Still needs a lot of work even to bring it up to the outline stage.

Decisions, Decisions...

2011-10-02T17:41:00.000-04:00

Mail Call: Runequest 2nd ed.

2011-09-03T20:55:00.000-04:00

Not much to add, really. I've been wanting a copy for a while, and it's finally mine. I also really, really like the look of the thing -- the brown ink on the cover, Luise Perrin's artwork, the maps-- all of it.

Ok, the character sheet scares me a bit.

Come Not in That Form! What the well-dressed demon is wearing this summoning.

2011-08-29T20:45:00.001-04:00

Being creatures of spirit, demons are not bound by any physical consistency, and may adopt such forms as boredom, perversity, or personal aesthetics dictate. Here are 20 "costume changes."

1. A translucent, crystalline, perfectly proportioned male or female body filled with wriggling pink worms.

2. A laughing huntsman wearing a suit of stitched-together infants’ skin, complete with a jaunty cap.

3. A vaguely humanoid figure made of rusted and bloodstained metal implements.

4. A cloud of fat corpse-flies, buzzing as one.

5. A gnarled, stooped figure with pale green skin, branded all over with still-smoking magical sigils. Its long, tangled beard reaches to the floor. It has no visible eyes, tiny serrated teeth, and a tongue of blue flame.

6. A serpent with a flaming crown, its body folding back on itself like a Moebius strip.

7. A recently-executed criminal, with all the accompanying signs of his death.

8. A deceased close relative of one of the PCs, bleeding continually from the eyes.

9. A perfect replica of the most common popular depiction of demons – red, horns, barbed tail, pitchfork, etc.

10. A naked, faceless infant suspended in a floating sac of pale fluid.

11. A great hero/heroine from myth and legend, speaking in a voice of the opposite gender.

12. A pretty, effeminate young fop, clad in velvet and holding a peacock feather.

13. A constantly shifting riot of wings and eyes. Talks like Michael J. Anderson on Twin Peaks.

14. A wax replica of one of the PCs, slowly melting.

15. A huge, bloated maggot with the face of a beautiful young woman.

16. A kindly, care-worn cleric of the most popular local faith.

17. The last intelligent being killed by one of the PCs, as they appear now.

18. A flayed bear, walking upright and holding a fennel stalk and a flute made from a human thighbone.

19 An elongated figure made of black iron, topped with a star-shaped head orbited by tiny flames.

20. A composite creature with the head of an owl, the torso of an emaciated woman, and the lower body of a praying mantis. Carries a flail and a cup of sweet wine.

Draco qui Vermithrax Pejorative Dictus Fuit Mortuus Est.

2011-08-22T00:44:00.004-04:00

Just watched _Dragonslayer_ (1981) for the first time. Thoughts.

1. Holy shit, that was a great dragon.

2. The amount of Latin in this movie is a delight.

3. People in this movie are actually dressed in convincing Early Medieval clothing, rather than ridiculous confections of buckles and straps.

4. If they made this movie today, it would be full of crappy CGI, the leads would all be impossibly good-looking, and it would be 3 hours long. Also, there would be a bumbling comic sidekick, and fart jokes.

5. Hey, that priest is Emperor Palpatine!

6. The dragon has some depth (its rage at the murder of its hatchlings) without getting all Dragonheart - Sensitive New Age Guy about it.

7. Have I mentioned all the Latin? This might just be a former Classics major thing, but I'm grinning like an idiot, here.

8. The villain/main henchman guy was a total bastard, but in a way I could really respect.

9. I can't believe I've never seen this one before, and it really sucks that this was a commercial flop.

10. They sure used to be able to get away with a lot more in a PG movie.

That's It-- I'm Writing My Own Tékumel Thingie.

2011-08-03T13:47:00.002-04:00

M.A.R. Barker's world of Tékumel has been all over the OSR blogosphere lately, mostly thanks to this announcement from the Tekumel Foundation. James Maliszewski's recently posted some retrospectives on Barker's novel Flamesong, the default starting campaign in Empire of the Petal Throne, and the maddening fingerprint-scape of The Nightmare Maze of Jigrésh. Chris at Hill Cantons has stepped up to the plate and plans to run Empire of the Petal Throne on Google+, which thrills me to no end. Of all the games I've read and daydreamed about, EPT is the one I never expected to actually play.

I've had the vague intention for a while now of writing up a conversion of Tékumel for Lamentations of the Flame Princess, but I've become increasingly impatient with vague intentions. Up until about a month or so ago, I hadn't written anything substantial since High School. Now I'm blogging semi-regularly, producing content that I'm actually happy with, and has been generally well-received. I've gone over the guidelines for free fan projects for both LotFP and Tekumel, and there's really nothing stopping me.

Fuck it, I'm going to DO THIS. First off, I should establish some limits and guidelines:

1) First and foremost, I want this to be an accessible, user-friendly tool for anyone to sit down with some friends who've never heard of Barker, Tékumel, Tsolyanu, etc., and run a game that's fun, fast-paced and exciting, while still maintaining the vibrant, trippy exoticism of the setting. This is broad-strokes, swashbuckling, sword-and-planet Tékumel. It's the difference between the Arabian Nights and the Sinbad movies, and a scholarly examination of the Abassid Caliphate, or between The Three Musketeers and a sober history of French society under Louis XIV. I'm going for a literary feel rather than an anthropological one. While I enjoy the Guardians of Order edition, I feel that it still places too much emphasis on cultural and historical minutiae to be really accessible to a new audience. To that end...

2) ... as in EPT, the assumption is that PCs are barbarian adventurers -- fresh off the boat and on the make, taking odd jobs no proper Tsolyani would touch with a 10-ft. pole in their quest for gold, glory, and citizenship. Players more experienced with the setting could have the option to play disgraced, now clanless Tsolyani who must rebuild their new lives from scratch, and win such glory for themselves that they can once more boast clan membership. At any rate, these characters are on the fringes of society looking in, not well-established citizens of that society.

3) I want it to be short, sharp, sweet, and flavorful, with a premium placed on utility and ease of use. I'm taking my cue from Zak S.'s Vornheim, here. I see this as being 20-30 pages, tops. To that end, there will be a great many mix- and- match elements, random tables, and story hooks, but very little in the way of exhaustive canonical detail. This will be a setting-specific toolkit, not a complete game or a definitive sourcebook.

4) It will be free. I expect to stray from canon at some point, and at this stage, I'd rather not have to wrangle with the logistics and red tape needed to put out an official commercial product. I'd be open to the possibility later, which would involve getting approval from the Tekumel Foundation. On the system side of things, from what I can see, Raggi's LotFP Compatibly License Terms seem easy enough to abide by, but I'd rather leave that off the table for right now.

5) Art and Layout: While I'm starting to get back to drawing and painting, my work isn't nearly of professional quality and I have no experience with proper document layout programs or techniques. I'd like this to be aesthetically pleasing, though, which means I have to either (a) Learn to do everything myself, or (b) enlist the help of others who'd be willing to contribute pro bono (I'm embarrassingly broke at the moment).

And that's all I have at the moment. I'm expecting this to take a while, and I'll be working on other projects throughout, but this is something I'd really like to see through to completion.

Update, Upcoming Projects...

2011-07-29T23:08:00.001-04:00

1. "Rival Adventuring Parties" and "Rural Inns & Taverns" took 2nd Place in Zak S.'s Vornheim: Hack This Book Contest, losing out to Dan Voyce's wonderfully weird "Nasty Little Idols" and "Theatre Amphisbaena".

2. I've now put up "Rural Inns & Taverns" as a 1- page pdf here. Other tables should
follow shortly.

------------------------------------

For this weekend and the coming week.

1. I really want to flesh out the Galbaruc setting first detailed here. I'm thinking Encounter Tables, Holidays, NPCs, Monsters, Societies and Factions, etc. I really like what Trey's doing with The City and James Maliszewski's Dwimmermount campaign (not to mention Zak S.'s Vornheim) , and I think it would be fun and challenging to do something similar.

2. Get down some details on Psychadelic Warlords. What it is, for starters.

3. Encounter table for the Foreigners' Quarter of Jakálla.

4. Some movie reviews.

5. Get to work on that YA novel.

6. Get back to drawing and painting -- especially now that I have a scanner.

7. Run something on Google +.

What's a Dazzling Urbanite Like You Doing in a Rustic Setting Like This? [Vornheim Contest entries #2 and #3]

2011-07-28T01:59:00.008-04:00

Here are two tables for when the party is somewhere between civilization and the wilderness. I may expand this post a little later, but I finished these things not that long ago, and my brain feels like burnt tapioca.

First up: Rural Inns and Taverns. Roll once on each name column, or twice on the second, adding ampersands or possessives where applicable. Add Qualities and/or Encounters to taste.

Name 1

1 Jolly
2 Roasted
3 Blue
4 Lusty
5 Roaring
6 Spotted
7 Crowned
8 Green
9 Dancing
10 Hanged
11 Blind
12 Singing
13 Drunken
14 Gilded
15 Brazen
16 Rampant
17 Yellow
18 Prancing
19 Leaping
20 Wicked

Name 2

1 Miller
2 Cat
3 Boar
4 Huntsman
5 Hare
6 Hound
7 Stag
8 Hammer
9 Hangman
10 Fool
11 King
12 Hedgehog
13 Bishop
14 Boot
15 Head
16 Bantam
17 Rose
18 Dragon
19 Knight
20 Sinner

Unusual Qualities

1 Scene of a famous murder 50 years ago. Still haunted at night.

2 The interior of the tavern is marked floor- to- ceilling w/ wards against evil, painted, carved w/ a knife, & scrawled emphatically in charcoal. No one seems perturbed by this.

3 Is a safehouse for a notorious local outlaw & his gang.

4 Innkeeper & his wife are high priest & priestess of a forbidden cult/heresy. Are otherwise friendly & accomodating.

5 Apples on the tree outside are poisonous (the skin alone is a powerful hallucinigen). The innkeeper will explain that the tree keeps regrowing despite his efforts to destroy it.

6 Innkeeper & clientele are cannibals. Well-armed PCs have nothing to fear, but may discover source of last night’s meal too late. The tallow in the candles is made from human fat.

7 The food is amazingly good, due to the fact that the cook is a captured fae creature. It will plead for rescue (removal of iron horseshoe over kitchen door) through messages in marbled fat on meat, steam rising from stew, etc.

8 Innkeeper + staff are actually bandits (real Innkeeper, etc. bound and gagged in cellar). The food is consequently terrible and the service lax.

9 Several tavern patrons have an ashen, listless air about them. Barmaid is a succubus.

10 Brews the Best Cider in the World.

11 The Devil (or equivilent) stops in for a quiet pint once a month.

12 The manticore head on the wall is a piece of enthusiastic, if not seamless taxidermy. The teeth, however, are quite authentic.

13 The dartboard nailed to the far wall is a portrait by a famous (now dead) artist. The subject’s features are unrecognizable from years of regular play, but the signature is clear.

14 Innkeeper is former adventurer. As such, will be instantly suspicious of PCs, locking up his wife, daughter & valuables, & claiming to have no vacancies for the night. If pressed, will sullenly relent.

15 Hosts cockfights in the yard. Innkeeper’s bird always wins.

16 The ancient bronze sword above the bar becomes red-hot & smolders in the presence of Magic.

17 Local poacher keeps inn plentifully supplied with trout from the Duke’s private fishing grounds. His claims of intimate dealings with a court of river spirits is dismissed as drunken nonsense.

18 A conclave of rival necromancers meet here once a year under a truce to talk shop. They are particularly fond of the pheasant.

19 The stableboy bears an uncanny facial resemblance to a prominent local official.

20 No flowers bloom within a mile of it, & no birds sing.

Encounters

1 A conjurer performs feats of prestidigitation before a packed crowd. 2d4 people in the crowd are his confederates, who are busily cutting purses & picking pockets.

2 Events will repeat in a loop every half-hour. The innkeeper, clientele, etc; will acknowledge PCs, but in a vague, half-interested way. If PCs go about their business as normal, the inn dissolves into fog at dawn. Locals encountered nearby will have no knowledge of such a place. Cause/solution up to GM.

3 Rowdy group of local rustics take offense at PCs’ manners/wardrobe/accent/faces and try to pick a fight.

4 Innkeeper’s cat knows the location of nearby buried treasure. Will lead the PC who pays it the most attention to the site.

5 8 + d8 armed revolutionaries have taken over the inn, forcibly drafting everyone into their ranks. They are awaiting a wagonload of gunpowder from one of their confederates, which will arrive at dawn the next day. From there, they plan to march on the house of the nearest local magistrate.

6 Sheriff & his party, accompanied by magistrate, enter, escorting a prisoner (NPC from previous encounter or PCs backstory) in irons. S/he is to be hung from a nearby gallows-tree, but the magistrate insists of the formality of a trial. All present are sworn in as witnesses.

7 Wandering minstrel, accompanied by local musicians, will start up an impromptu ballad about one of the PCs, which will contain increasingly embarrasing & shameful (but true) details. Will only stop if paid 25 GP or sufficiently threatened w/ violence. The song is extremely catchy & will be remembered and repeated by all NPCs present for some time.

8 A small semi-aquatic demon has taken up residence in the ale keg, The oils from its skin impart unique qualities to the ale. Roll on Magical Effects table for each drinker.

9 Bandits burst in w/ heavy crossbows, demand valuables from staff+clientele and (unless thwarted) take inkeeper hostage & escape in a waiting coach. Are in league with innkeeper.

10 Innkeeper’s wife plots to murder her husband w/ the help of the pot-boy, her lover. Tonight’s the night.

11 Innkeeper’s son/daughter will beg PCs to take him/her w/ them, pleading boredom & drudgery. If they accept, will join them when they leave, along with contents of their parents’ strongbox.

12 Innkeeper & his wife are scouts for a brothel in the nearest large town/city. Will attempt to isolate, drug & kidnap particularly attractive or distinctive-looking PCs.

13 PCs will awake to find themselves trapped by thorny vines & brambles that have encased the inn overnight. All doors & windows are held fast. If cut w/ non-magical weapons, these will regenerate w/ even greater density within 4 rounds.

14 PCs (especially Elves/Magic Users) are attacked by vicious bedbugs in their sleep. These will inflict 1 damage every third round, ignoring armor & clothing. Observant PCs will note a trail of them leadng to the innkeeper’s room. If they force the door, they will discover the innkeeper lying in bed, his eyes glazed over, a stream of bedbugs scuttling in & out of his mouth.

15 The ale brewed here inspires poetry in those who drink it for the 1st time (lasts until dawn).

16 Group of men in rustic garb will accost PCs, asking them for news & gossip in a poor imitation of local dialect. Are obviously a nobleman & his retinue in unconvincing disguises.

17 A dishevelled young woman can be seen walking calmly around the outside of the inn, setting fire to the thatch w/ a torch. If challenged, will respond only that she is “doing what ought to’ve been done to this vile place years ago.”

18 Eloping couple are persued by an agent of the girl’s father, who can be glimpsed through the window, dismounting from his horse. The couple beg the PCs to create a distraction while they slip out the back.

19 An eccentrically dressed man waves PCs over to his table, where he importunes them to join him in a game of chance. He is a compulsive, but terrible gambler, a 6th –level Wizard, & a sore loser.

20 Inn becomes site of battle between outlaws and sheriff’s men, who arrive w/in minutes of each other.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

And here's 50 Encounters for when you leave the Inn: It doesn't matter so much if no town or village is indicated on a map -- such places are tiny and numerous, and beneath the notice of most cartographers.

1-2 PCs come upon the body of a man, stabbed, stripped of weapons, cloak, and boots, and left dead at the side of the road. He has a letter tucked into his stocking informing him that a distant relative of his in a nearby town has died and left him his entire estate.

3-4 Inhabitants of the village take PCs to be an Inspector + their retinue from the Capitol (this explains their odd clothing and behavior) and treat them accordingly. The real inspector is about a day’s ride away.

5-6 A young man or woman, filthy, covered in small cuts, naked save for a fox’s tail tied around their waist, comes panting over the hill toward the PCs, and hides behind some nearby trees. A group of nobles on horseback appears a minute or so later and, with a chuckle, ask PCs if they have seen a fox passing through.

7-8 A group of young boys are fishing at a placid lake. They wave lazily to the PCs, just as two squamous, humanoid arms break the surface and drag one under.

9-10 A fire-and brimstone preacher is giving an impassioned sermon in a hastily-erected tent to a large crowd. The sermon has some bearing on one or more outer characteristics of at least one PC.

11-12 A group of angry peasants are burning the local duke in effigy, shaking farm implements and cursing his name. The crowd will encourage PCs to join in. An agent of the Duke’s is hidden nearby, taking down names and descriptions.

13-14 PCs come upon the body of a young woman, but closer inspection reveals that she is playing possum. She scampers away, whistling, at which a party of d6+6 hideously inbred cannibal hillbillies, led by her oldest brother-husband, attack.

15-16 PCs are waylaid by a masked Highwayman and d6+4 accomplices. He will attempt to kiss the hands of any females present.

17-18 A group of d8+4 figures dressed as religious mendicants approach, their heads bowed in solemn prayer. If the roll on the d8 was even, they draw back their hoods, produce shortswords from beneath their robes and attack.

19-20 A travelling carnival has set up on the outskirts of town. They are (1-2) a bizarre and sinister cult of degenerates and necromancers (3-4) Fae creatures in disguise (5-6) mere Carnies.

21-22 The local duke’s army is drumming up new recruits in the town square. Their methods are brutal and insistant, and will extend to any able-bodied PCs.

23-24 A magistrate is hearing cases brought by well-to-do local peasants. At the sight of the PCs, both parties offer compensation if any of them will represent them in a trial by combat.

25-26 Rival adventuring party (roll on table or supply your own) appears at the next crossroads, heading in the same direction as PCs.

27-28 PCs encounter an NPC from a past adventure or character background in the stocks in the town square. The details of the NPC’s crime can be obtained from passers-by.

29-30 A group of villagers are celebrating a fertility festival, featuring much drinking, dalliance, and the parading of an ithyphallic mannikn made of straw through the nearby fields. PCs are encouraged to join in.

31-32 A group of travelling players are putting on a performance in the village square, costumed as the PCs. They are performing an episode from their adventures, though misrepresented. If the deed was noble and valorous, it is depicted as trecherous , cowardly, and bloodthirsty, and vice-versa.

33-34 A hunting party is being assembled in the town square. Three village children have been killed in the last week by some half-glimpsed monster. The creature was sighted less than an hour ago by a local woodcutter. The villagers plead with the PCs to join the hunt, though some of the younger men grumble about involving outsiders in their affairs.

35-36 A mountebank has set up his wagon in the village square and is loudly proclaiming the virtues of his new “miracle elixir.” Will call out to one of the PCs to assist in the demonstration.

37-38 Two men are hurridly loading barrels of moonshine into an already loaded wagon. After percieving that the PCs are not, in fact, the Sheriff’s men, they will offer a barrel or two to the PCs before one of them hops in the driver’s seat and takes off. It is extremely potent, flammable, and illegal under local sumptuary laws.

39-40 A funeral procession winds its way to the outskirts of the town. A persistant banging can be heard from within the coffin, but this is ignored.

41-42 A Witchfinder and his retinue arrive in the village shortly after the PCs. The suspect they are persuing closely resembles one of the party, and they will shadow them closely until confronted.

43-44 PCs find themselves in the middle of a shootout (bows, crossbows, throwing hatchets, etc.) between two families involved in a generations-long feud. PCs are enjoined to declare for one side or the other. Neutrality will be met with incredulous outrage.

45-46 The whole town has turned out to watch the hanging of a notorius local brigand, who bears an uncanny resemblance to a respectable NPC of past acquantance. Upon seeing the PCs, he will greet them by name, shout a cheerful “See you all in hell,” and leap from the platform with the noose around his neck.

47-48 2d8 mounted bandits have arrived at the village first, and busy themselves with slaughter, rapine, and pillage. They will pause in these activities at the approach of the PCs and will either attack (if they outnumber the PCs at least 2-1) or attempt to flee.

49-50 A poacher runs past the PCs, dropping a large sack at their feet as he leaps a fence and dashes into the undergrowth. A few minutes later, a groundskeeper and 1d4 assistants appears from the same direction. He is interested in the poacher and takes the sack to be the PCs property. The sack contains 2d8 freshly killed eels. If eaten, they are quite tasty and the eater can speak and understand the speech of water-dwelling creatures for 3 days after ingestion.

51-52 A group of minor demons are engaging in a musical contest at the crossroads with lute, hurdy-gurdy, bagpipes, tabor, and harp. They will ask the PCs to judge the contest, and the winner will present the PCs with a coin bearing its sigil, which can be used to summon it to fulfill a single favor.

53-54 2d4 Shrouded bandits spring out and attack PCs. At the first sign of resistance they flee. Any injured or captured member of the band will reveal themselves to be a member of the local aristocracy, that the PCs were mistaken for someone else, and that this was a prank that went horribly, horribly wrong.

55-56 PCs meet with an outlandishly-dressed foreign traveller on the road. He is affable, charming, and seemingly gullible, and does not quite understand the local exchange rate.

57-58 PCs arrive to find villagers in a mad, hallucinatory daze. Ergot in the wheat is the culprit, but witchcraft is, of course, a viable second hypothesis.

59-60 A wizened figure in a tattered robe has been nailed to a tree with silver nails. The placard around his chest reads “For Vile Necromancie.” The man’s eyes open wide and he screams.

61-62 PCs arrive in the midst of a wedding party. The fare is plentiful, simple, and tasty, and the ale is served with generosity. Unless the PCs find a way to screw this up, the evening ends well for all involved, and the PCs are sent on their way in the morning with free provisions.

63-64 The skies open up, and the rain comes down in torrents. The nearest shelter is the half-rotten ruin of a fortress. It is haunted, and the ghostly inhabitants will offer information about the surrounding area (150 years out of date) in exchange for a few drops of human blood left in a pewter dish in the mess hall.

65-66 PCs hear shouts from a group of laborers digging up a barren field to lay a foundation. Upon inspection, their digging has unearthed a bronze door set into the ground at an angle.

67-68 PCs pass a roadside graveyard, startling 2d4 ghouls at their meal.

69-70 PCs arrive at a small monastery populated by ogres. These have renounced their old ways, and offer shelter for the night, though any wounded PCs must remain in the storage shed, as the smell of blood will arouse old appetites and undo the work of religion.

71-72 A toll-bridge straddles the river at its narrowest point, guarded by a colorfully-dressed man who hails the PCs and announces that they cannot cross without answering a riddle. The riddle itself is completely nonsensical, and the man has no magic powers of any kind, and can be dispatched in the usual manner.

73-74 PCs find themselves surrounded by d6+10 outlaws with swords and longbows. If they convincingly deny allegiance to the local duke, they are brought (blindfolded) to the outlaws' hideout and receive an offer to join their band. If they refuse, they are merely feasted and entertained, before being returned to the road in the morning.

75-76 A small boy sits on the fence by a grove of trees playing a flute. Will demand payment for his music (name an outrageous sum). If the PCs refuse, he plays louder, and the trees uproot themselves and lumber slowly but inexorably toward them. The only way to stop them entirely is to break the flute.

77-78 A young girl in a white smock, garlanded with flowers, stands in the middle of a field, surrounded by other peasant farmers. Her eyes are glazed over and she walks as if in a trance toward a figure in an elk-skull mask wielding a dagger.

79-80 PCs arrive in the midst of a fair. Competetion for prizes is fierce, and they will be assaulted on all sides with demands to taste an endless array of jams, pies, cheeses, ales, etc. Offers of bribes will be constant and not particularly subtle.

81-82 Two rival brewers are competing for the prize at a festival, demand PCs do a taste-test as neutral parties. Finding in favor of one will earn the violent emnity of the other.

83-84 PCs hear giggling and splashing up ahead, and spy a trio of water-nymphs bathing in a nearby stream, their garments left on rocks. These garments, if successfully stolen and worn against the skin make the wearer proof against drowning.

85-86 PCs pass a rotted corpse hanging in a gibbet by the side of the road. A scrap of parchment nailed there proclaims the name of the arresting magistrate and the identity of the corpse (a friend, relative, or past associate of the PCs).

87-88 A violent, impassioned scene breaks out in the village square, starting with threats and accusations, leading to attempted murder and/or rape. PCs attempting to intervene will discover that they are wielding stage weapons. The participants disperse, grumbling, and a man in a neatly-trimmed goatee will loudly complain that "these ignorant shitkickers wouldn’t know experimental theatre if it bit them on the ass."

89-90 The PCs unknowingly violate some unwritten code of conduct in the town, and a lynch mob soon forms.

91-92 1d6 tough-looking village lads, eager for excitement and opportunity, offer to join PCs.

93-94 A crowd has gathered around a makeshift stage, where a series of bare-knuckle matches is taking place. Betting is frantic, pickpockets are rife, and the purse to be won is tempting. The local champion is heavily favored.

95-96 The village is holding mayoral elections. Since citizenship is determined by baptism at the village church (an office the local cleric is willing to perform), the PCs can theoretically cast a legal vote. Factions representing both candidates sieze the opportunity with both hands.

97-98 PCs arrive to find village in mourning, with a young woman in black being escorted down the road. It is explained that the local lord has taken her as his latest wife, and none of the 14 women previously chosen for this honor have been seen again.

99-100 Passing farmer offers to give unmounted PCs a ride on his haycart to the next town over in exchange for stories from afar (more than 30 miles away).

And because I'm an insomniac:

Jeremy Duncan took the Hardest Gary Gygax Quiz in the World and got 60%!

You are a Gary Gygax Myrmidon. You are mighty in the ways of Gary Gygax. You're probably a First Edition or OD&D player, and I wouldn't be surprised if you had an original copy of the Chainmail rules.

Paladin Code: You completed this quiz without using Google.

Not bad for 4-5 hours of sleep.

And now I'm off to bed. Enjoy!

Hong Kong Cavaliers, Random Tables, and Hammer Horror

2011-07-21T01:11:00.007-04:00

Anyone coming here based on the title along is probably going to be disappointed. There will be more actual, y'know, content later in the week, but right now, it's hot and sticky and I my brain is starting to drip out my ears, but before I check out completely for the evening:

1. This was just announced. I'm not sure when it's coming out, exactly, and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find anyone interested in playing it with me near my zip code, but I'll be buying it anyway like the monkey-boy I am.

2. Random tables-- really useful ones anyway, are a lot trickier than they seem. This may be obvious to those of you who've been at this a while, particularly in the OSR community, but I've been looking at a lot of random tables and reading posts like this lately, and it's had the effect of a) Making me want to crank out a bunch of random tables and b) Questioning every decision along the way. Is it too complicated? Too long-winded? Can I make it more simple and elegant? How generic can it be and still be interesting? How specific and flavorful and still useful for others? Then again, I could simply be hot, tired, and overthinking this thing way too much.

3. Thurday night means horror movies at the Carolina, and this Thurday, it's a Hammer film, which I enjoy like other people enjoy fuzzy slippers and hot cocoa. They'll be showing The Kiss of the Vampire (1963).

Because If you've already got Evil Science, you're pretty much obligated to breed a race of the living dead with it.

And now to bed.

Epilepsy? Have You Tried Drinking Gladiator Blood? [Weird Rome]

2011-07-19T11:41:00.002-04:00

I read a post the other day at the always-fascinating rogueclassicism blog that should be of interest to anyone gaming in a Weird Roman setting, or looking for a new twist on vampirism. No sparkling, hair gel, or abstinence, I promise. I recommend reading the full original article, but here's what I thought was most interesting:

Here's Pliny the Elder (trans. John Bostock)

Epileptic patients are in the habit of drinking the blood even of gladiators, draughts teeming with life, as it were; a thing that, when we see it done by the wild beasts even, upon the same arena, inspires us with horror at the spectacle! And yet these persons, forsooth, consider it a most effectual cure for their disease, to quaff the warm, breathing, blood from man himself, and, as they apply their mouth to the wound, to draw forth his very life; and this, though it is regarded as an act of impiety to apply the human lips to the wound even of a wild beast! Others there are, again, who make the marrow of the leg-bones, and the brains of infants, the objects of their research!

And Celsus:

Some have freed themselves from such a disease by drinking the hot blood from the cut throat of a gladiator: a miserable aid made tolerable by a malady still most miserable …

The post's author goes on to hint playfully at a connection between Julius Caesar's interest in gladiatorial games and his purported epilepsy, but any GM running a horror-tinged campaign can surely see the potential in this. Here, we have a form of vampirism still tied to superstition, but without any overt supernatural elements. It's one thing to locate and destroy vampires when you're dealing with immortal undead monsters with relatively well-known powers and weaknesses, but quite another when the monster you're looking for is an ordinary person who casts a reflection, can walk freely in the sunlight, has no fear of holy symbols, etc.

Your range of potential "vampires" includes everyone from family members pushed to extremes to find a cure for a stricken child to the sorts of unscrupulous persons hinted at in the end of the Pliny passage -- physicians and sorcerers conducting vile experiments in secret. The efficacy of any of these cures is up to the GM, of course. Rumor and superstition are powerful motivators all by themselves, and an unsuccessful "vampire" might simply be convinced that there's a flaw in their methods, or that they haven't found just the right victim.

General Update and New To-Do List

2011-07-18T17:05:00.002-04:00

Updates

1. Weird Rome and Weird Greece can be found, in their entirety, in Appendix 4 of Jack Shear's compendium of concentrated awesomeness that is Flavors of Fear: 13 Weird Fantasy Setting Sketches for Lamentations of the Flame Princess. If you haven't already, you should really check it out. Jack has done some amazing work on this one, distilling 13 unique mini-settings to their sharpest taste and potency, like a deranged moonshiner working his genre-still out in Wellman country.

2. Hey, I won something! "The Spawn of Yash-Kunag the Many-Toothed" took "Best Critter" in the nautical contest at Hill Cantons, in such mighty company as Trey's The Moon Rake and Porky's The Former Scree. I've been thinking about doing some more work on Galbaruc and environs. Maybe some details on the festival, some encounter tables, etc.

3. My wife's short story "Amor Fugit" was included in The Year's Best Fantasy and Science Fiction 2011, which just hit store shelves earlier this month. Also included are stories by plucky young unknowns Neil Gaiman, Paul Park, and Gene Wolfe, among others. You can read another of her stories, "Swamp City Lament" for free here.

To-Do List:

~~1. More entries for the Vornheim Contest: Rustic encounter tables.~~

2. Decide whether Psychedelic Warlords would be best as a stand-alone game, a rules-free setting/genre supplement, or to go with an established ruleset.

3. More Weird Rome

4. The BBC's Human Planet as a gaming resource.

Fishing for God-Spawn [Hill Cantons Contest Entry]

2011-07-15T00:04:00.000-04:00

Here's my entry for the contest ckutalik put up at Hill Cantons.

Galbaruc, Yash-Kunag, and the Great Culling

Every year, the port town of Galbaruc holds the Feast of the Great Culling, and the town's population swells to over four times its normal size. Innkeepers, hoteliers, and any citizen with so much as a spare broom closet raise their rates to an astonishing degree, but seasoned travelers have learned by now not to haggle, grateful for even the most modest accommodation for the 12 days of the Feast. Galbaruc looks out on the Bay of Maidens, and it is in these waters that Yash-Kunag the Many-Toothed makes her annual trek to birth her young. This enormous, immeasurably ancient sea-creature, whose massive form has never been reliably set down, is worshiped as a goddess by the inhabitants of much of the surrounding coasts.

She is seen as the living embodiment of the sea, in all its bounty, danger, and pitilessness. Local artisans most commonly depict her as a humanoid female, with generously- proportioned hips, pendulous breasts over which hang garlands of seaweed and coral, with a skirt made from the lashed-together bodies of dead men, and topped with a monstrous shark's head.

In all, she will birth many thousands of young over the next ten days, though a tiny fraction of that number survive to adulthood. The larger, faster, and stronger spawn will devour their brothers and sisters in a frenzy of hunger. Others will be picked off, in turn, by other sea creatures, which are always at hand in the waters surrounding the bay to pounce on any godling foolish enough to stray out into the greater depths. The rest are taken in the Great Culling, where mariners, fisherman, and enthusiastic amateurs from every corner of the world converge to hunt this precious bounty. It is believed by the devout, and allowed by the skeptical, that Yash-Kunag herself tacitly approves of the Culling, as a way of weeding out the weak and slow from her progeny, and to reduce the number of rival claimants for her power, which she must battle and devour ever season in turn.

Spawn of Yash-Kunag the Many-Toothed (Stats are for B/X D&D)

Armor Class: 6
Hit Dice: 6
Move: 90'
Attacks: Bite/Tail + Special
Damage: 3-24/2-16
No. Appearing: 0 (1-8)
Save As: Fighter 6
Morale: 7
Treasure Type: Nil
Alignment: Neutral

Each Spawn, from birth to the first two weeks of growth, measures some 8-12' in length. Their tails are ridged with long, flexible spines, and their mouths filled with rows of razor-sharp teeth, which are constantly replaced throughout their lifetimes. At this stage, Spawn are creatures of pure instinct, though they will develop a formidable intelligence in later life- cycles. They are drawn to sources of food and devotion. Thanks to their heritage, they have an uncanny ability to inspire religious awe in humanoids. Every two rounds, all humanoids within 20' of a conscious Spawn must Save vs. Spells to avoid being the victim of hold person, unable to do anything save falling to their knees and chanting unintelligible syllables. If removed from the water for more than three rounds, a Spawn will enter a helpless comatose state, losing 1d4 hit dice every subsequent round until death. If returned to the water before death, consciousness returns instantly and it regains hit dice at a rate of 1d8/round. As their natural armor has yet to fully develop, they do take damage from non-magical weapons, but all such damage is halved.

The Spawn of Yash-Kunag the Many-Toothed are highly prized for their carcasses, which have many and varied uses. The meat is tender, rich, and flavorful, and is often grilled or fried in butter and garlic, and sprinkled with salt and herbs. The shimmering, reflective skin, multi-hued like mother-of-pearl, when dried, makes an attractive, water-resistant leather, and some artists and poets attest to the strange, seductive visions half-glimpsed in its surface. Its oil burns brighter and longer than conventional lamp oil, and exudes a pleasing aroma. This oil is also used in cosmetics, and imparts a youthful glow to the skin and a lustrous sheen to the hair. The flexible tail spines find use as surgical tools and writing implements. The teeth are often made into small daggers with delicately serrated edges. These never lose their sharpness. The bones are both strong and flexible, and used in everything from garment foundations to ornaments for the hair. Many of the most daring hairstyles displayed by gentlemen and ladies of fashion in the Northern Cities would be impossible without strategically-placed supports of Spawn-bone.

Spawn-Fishing Boats, and Techniques of Capture

A bewildering array of craft ply the waters of the bay during the Great Culling, from the swift, fragile catamarans of the Broken Knife Islanders to the lateen-sailed dhows of the Western Khanate. The merchant house of Pinfeather and Brassbolt have lately had much success with their unique design, as well as their methods of capture. The ship itself is a two-hulled catamaran, but built significantly larger and higher than those of the Islanders, sacrificing speed for size, cargo-space, and more solid construction. A net is lowered into the sea in the space between the hulls. Designated members of the crew stand near the edge, armed with incense censers, prayer rattles, and flutes, all of which serve to attract Spawn and bring them swimming in the path of the net. When 1-3 spawn are so positioned, the net is hauled up, leaving the spawn struggling in midair and mitigating much of the danger from teeth and tail.

At this point, the Ship's Atheist, recruited for the season from one of the Northern universities, takes position, loudly denouncing as irrational, primitive and servile the worship of large sea-creatures, however impressive in size and power they might be. It is believed that this serves to discourage the Spawn and act as a buffer against its natural powers of instilling awe. This power is justly feared, as it often results in death, failure, and numerous small cults spontaneously developing among fishing crews. Harpoons may also be employed, though this is frowned upon in many modern operations, as they are not always effective, and may damage the skin. Once the Spawn is comatose, it is hauled aboard and flung into special lead-lined compartments built into the side of the ship.

Well, there goes my productivity for the next couple of days...

2011-07-12T22:49:00.000-04:00

Vornheim Contest Entry #1: Some Rival Adventuring Parties

2011-07-11T23:59:00.000-04:00

Here's my first entry for Zak S.'s 'Vornheim: Hack This Book' Contest.

It's a table for quickly determining some rival adventuring parties (and what they're up to) to give your PCs some much-needed competition. GMs should feel free to change any names and details to reflect the setting and mood of their game. Roll a d10 for each category and a d6 within each entry whenever indicated. Category 2 (Notable Fact) can be rolled more than once, as desired. Stats for individual members are not included. These can be rolled up easily enough along with any retainers, etc. the GM thinks appropriate. Levels of party members can be determined by adding or subtracting 1-3 d4 from the average level of the PCs. This is my first real attempt at anything like this, so any comments or suggestions would be welcome.

Who?

1. The Forsaken: Remnants of a betrayed mercenary company. They alternate between dour humorlessness and insane bravado and carry a reputation for surviving against impossible odds. As survivors of a massacre, they trust each other more fully than most adventuring parties. Roll again on any result that indicates inter-party betrayal, but keep the second result. Everyone has their limits.

2. The Dragonslayers: Loud, boistrous, and garishly attired, with an ever- changing lineup of braggarts, seasoned professionals, and thrill-seekers. They adorn themselves in bits of what they claim is dragon skin (nothing containing any useful text, if genuine) Their clothes, hair, weapons, etc. are decorated with dragon teeth, talons, horns, etc., or a decent facscimile. They travel with a wagon-mounted ballista, which they ostentatiously turn over to the Watch whenever they enter a new town or city.

3. The Progeny of Lorbis Vul. Core members consist of 4-6 vat-grown male and female humanoids, with skin dyed in a range of colors from sky blue to Vermillion, and marked on their foreheads with a seemingly random number from III – XXV. They are physically perfect, athletic specimens except for one glaring, disturbing flaw (1) Eyes (2) Voice (3) Arm (4) Leg (5) Chest or torso (6) Not readily apparent.. They are seeking the wherabouts of Lorbis Vul, a notorious sorcerer. For now, they pay their way by adventuring.

4. Lord Farthingale's Men. Lord Farthingale is a fop, dressed in whatever outrageous finery the GM wishes, but he has the cunning and brutality of a Blackbeard. His party, by contrasts, is plainly comprised of the worst sort of scum and riff-raff from every corner of the earth. He has a list of (often arbitrary) proscribed behaviors for his men within city walls, and will have any offenders killed on the spot, tossing a bag of silver at the feet of any wronged party.

5. Gorelick, Kesselmann, Voboes, Inginok and Fritch: Adventurers. Sons and daughters of the merchant class., all with the finest university educations. While their clothes, weapons, and equipment are new, they are nevertheless well-maintained and profesionally wielded. Their occasional naivite is offset by an almost frightening amount of efficiency and good sense. They are very well-read in the lore of adventuring, and are determined to learn from the mistakes of the dead, maimed, and insane.

6. Halma-Khet. A party of horse-nomads, led by an exiled nephew of the current Khan. They are both curious and contemptuous of the ways of “soft city dwellers” and eager to prove their skill and valor. While they are expert horsemen (and seldom dismount if they can help it) they are less sure of themselves on foot. In public they (1-3) cannot or (4-6) pretend not to speak or understand the common language of the area, and rely on a slave who acts as interpreter (1-2) accurately and without bias (3-4) twisting words and meanings to please his masters (5-6) mistranslating everything in the worst possible light, either out of perversity or a desire to punish his masters.

7. Order of St. Halachris. A militant religious order (Group contains no fewer than 3 Clerics) dedicated to St. Halachris, Bringer of the Final Death. Party members are chiefly concerned with destroying the undead in all forms, though they are also called upon to deal with lycanthropes and witches. They are plentifully supplied with holy water, blessed weapons and amulets, etc., and each carries a silver dagger on their person at all times. They are (1-2) corrupt and venal – Matthew Hopkins would fit in perfectly, (3-4) Devout, intelligent, and reasonable, and suspicious of false accusations and exaggerated claims (5-6) Dangerous fanatics who see evil and corruption everywhere.

8. The Gallant Comrades: This consists of five adventuring companions and their retainers. They have been at this for longer than most of the PCs have been alive, and time and riotous living have left their mark. Their hair is greying or disappearing altogether, their faces have gotten fleshier, and their armor is bit more snug these days. For all that, they haven’t made it for this long by being careless. They’ve made and lost fortunes several times over, but now they’re planning something big—something that will set them up for the rest of their lives in comfortabe retirement.

9. Morgenstern and Sons: This is adventuring as a family tradition. A husband and wife team and their teenage children -- three boys and a girl. This is the only life they’ve known, though their situation is certainly odd- more commonly found among troupes of circus performers or the nomads of the Cold Wastes. They are all inured to the adventuring life, and will generally slit a throat or pick a pocket with practiced ease.

10. Sisters of Ynis Nagahl: An all-female group, bound together for mutual protection and opportunity. Several are former slaves, and the group will often make a point of harassing or attacking slavers on principle. Their current leader is a berserker from an obscure northern tribe, from whose warrior-goddess (her image takes the form of a she-bear holding aloft an axe and a human head) the group takes its name. In person, she is affable and somewhat flirtatious, though many find her necklace of dried human ears to be distracting and in poor taste.

Notable Fact

1. The Party, through one or more of its members, have a relationship with a noble in the city (roll on the Aristocrat and Relationship tables). This individual has a vested interest in the party, for better or worse, and will take any interference from the PCs as a personal affront.

2. One member of the party feels slighted after the last job and is looking for some petty revenge before skipping town. Will seek out PCs to aid in this purpose.

3. Party is wanted for some outrage committed outside the City – (1) Church or Monastic House, (2) Foreign Aristocrat, (3) merchant house (4) Peasant village (5) Criminal Organization (6) Large extended family. Representatives of this concern have tracked them to the city and are waiting for their chance to strike.

4. On their last adventure, one of the party members was (1-2) bitten or scratched by a were-creature (3-4) Possessed by a minor demon (5-6) infected with a parasite that is reproducing inside his/her body at an alarming rate, only to burst forth in a glistening, wriggling horde from the abdomen. S/he has managed to hide this fact from the rest of their party, but it is about to become profoundly apparent.

5. Are imposters. The real group is: (1-2) Incapacitated or Slain, probably by the imposters (3-4) Alive and Well, about a week’s journey from here (5-6) Never existed—the whole thing is an elaborate hoax.

6. The core members are part of a proscribed cult or sect. (1-2) A despised heresy of the most common local religion (3) A new messianic cult gaining in influence abroad (4-5) A known foreign deity –legal to worship in more exotic parts, but whose rites are illegal locally) (6) Servants of an actively malign horror from beyond the stars, unknown but to the most abandoned decadents, incautious scholars, and gibbering lunatics.

7. The party travels with an exotic, dangerous, and/or previously believed mythical beast. The creature is kept in a cage, large bottle, on a leash, etc. as appropriate.
(1-3) The creature has been tamed by means magical or mundane, and will obey the commands of a designated party member(s) to the limit of its intelligence and abilities.
(4-6) While the Party belives the above to be true, such is not, in fact, the case. Roll 2d6 every minute or so in which the Party is in the immediate vicinity of the PCs. On a roll of two odd numbers, it escapes its bonds.

8. Are in possession of (1) a (1-4) genuine (5-6) fake treasure map (2) A document incriminating (roll any number of times on Aristocrat and/or NPC tables) in a serious crime or scandal (3) A mundane treasure— unremarkable on the surface, but quite valuable to those in the know (4) An attractive but not obviously valuable objet d’art – worth a great deal to collectors. (5) An enchanted object or talisman, not readily apparent as such (6) A weapon (1-4) unenchanted but flashy (5-6) enchanted but ordinary-looking. The Party (1-2) is aware (3-4) suspects, but has not confirmed (5-6) is wholly ignorant of the item’s true qualities or import. PCs can pick up hints by overhearing tavern boasts/conversations, interrogation, pillow talk, talkative or easily bribed former members or retainers on the make, close observation, etc.

9. Have taken a Public Vow of (1-2) Chastity (3-4) Fasting- water and thin gruel, and only after nighfall (4-6) (Poverty) until the completion of their current mission. Their reputation will prosper or suffer according their (known) success in keeping the Vow.

10. Have heard of PCs and are actively trying to:
(1-3) Involve them in a lucrative joint venture. (1-4) They are sincere (5-6) They plan to betray the PCs as soon as it’s expedient.
(4-6) Hinder or sabotage the PC’s current plans. The GM should determine their seriousness/willingness to kill or maim in this regard.

What they're doing in the City right now

1. About to intercept PCs at the next crowded thoroughfare: The street is only wide enough for one group to pass at a time.

2. Desperately short of funds, the Party is attempting to sell off the meager loot from their last (disastrous) expedition, along with any surplus weapons, armor, or equipment. (1d4) members desperately seeking employment, with the remainder actively looking to split from the group and join another party.

3. Indulging in epic debauchery at the most expensive tavern/brothel in the city.

4. Recruiting for 1d4 new members in the town square, village green, etc. Will have hired 2d6 touts to announce this fact across the city.

5. In attendance at a funeral procession for a slain former comrade, accompanied by the appropriate clergy and 3d6 professional mourners. After a day or two, consult #4 of this column.

6. Engaged in a (1-3) heated argument (4-6) brawl with (1) Local Aristocrat and their retinue (roll on Aristocrat Table) (2) Another Adventuring Party (roll again on chart) (3) City Watch (4) Criminal Organization (5) Monster(s) (GM’s choice) (6) Other Tavern Patrons.

7. Pursuing individual interests (roll for each member/group of 1d#total in party-1) : (1) Doing research at a Library (2) Taking in a Show (Play, concert, bear-baiting, etc.) (3) Shopping at a Store or Market (4) Engaged in Secret Business with 1) Aristocrat 2) Random NPC 3) Criminal Organization 4) Outlawed Cult 5) The Regent/Mayor 6) Demonic/Extradimensional Entity (5) Attending public Church or Temple service (6) GM’s choice of results 3,6,8-10 on this column.

8. Breaking into (1-3) Private Residence (Roll on NPC or Aristocrat Table) or Public Building (4-6) Building (Roll on Building Table). If it’s daylight, they’re still casing the joint. If nighttime, they’re in the act.

9. At the center of a parade in their honor which winds its way through the streets, to end at the estate of an Aristocrat (roll) or the Regent, where they are wined and dined with great pomp and extravagance. In all the excitement and confusion, It will be relatively easy for PCs to gain admittance to the celebrations.

10. Fleeing the city, with (1-2) City Watch (3-4) Aristocrat’s retinue (5-6) Angry mob of citizens in hot pursuit. Their path of escape will intersect with the PCs, at which point a party member will drop a (up to the GM whether accidentally or not) (1-2) map (3-4) incriminating document (5-6) valuable or magical object where a PC can unobtrusively pick it up.

Later tonight or tomorrow...

2011-07-11T18:16:00.000-04:00

A random table of Rival Adventuring Parties for your PCs to encounter, their quirks and secrets, and what they're up to right now.

Weird Greece: A Setting-sketch for Lamentations of the Flame Princess

2011-07-09T01:13:00.000-04:00

Here's part two. I'm a little less happy with this one than the Roman setting-- I don't know if it's the nebulous semi-historical setting I chose (The Hellenistic Age might be a better fit for a gritty swords-and-sorcery feel, but I don't think I could improve on Paul Elliott's Warlords of Alexander) or what, but something just feels slightly off. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

Weird Greece:

“A dead weight hung upon us. It hung upon our limbs-- upon the household furniture --upon the goblets from which we drank; and all things were depressed, and borne down thereby -all things save only the flames of the seven lamps which illumined our revel. Uprearing themselves in tall slender lines of light, they thus remained burning all pallid and motionless; and in the mirror which their lustre formed upon the round table of ebony at which we sat, each of us there assembled beheld the pallor of his own countenance, and the unquiet glare in the downcast eyes of his companions. Yet we laughed and were merry in our proper way-which was hysterical; and sang the songs of Anacreon-which are madness; and drank deeply-although the purple wine reminded us of blood.” -- E. A. Poe, "Shadow: a Parable" (1850)
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A Mythic Greek setting presents a unique paradox for gaming in a Weird Fantasy idiom. It is supremely suited for the conventions of fantasy roleplaying games-- wandering adventurers, a pantheon of gods, savage monsters to be fought and overcome, perilous quests into the underworld, etc. are a more natural fit to a Greek-inspired setting than a cod-medieval one. The gods, men, and monsters of Greek mythology are iconic and familiar. But this very familiarity and accessibility can be a serious obstacle for a Referee wishing to preserve the feeling of "the Weird" that informs LotFP. Throughout this setting sketch, I'll offer tips on how to exploit the unique flavor of a Greek-inspired setting while never losing sight of "the Weird."

The Setting: The ancient Mediterranean -- the last gasp of the Heroic Age, and the beginning of the degenerate Age of the Men of Iron. History is still fluid and murky, and legends may still be made of the deeds of such heroes as are born in these latter days. The gods still meddle in the affairs of mortals, but not so openly as they once did, and their semi- divine progeny are scarcely to be found upon the dark earth.

The known world is divided into petty kingdoms and city-states, ruled by a collection of kings, queens, ruling councils, and tyrants-- the sort of upstart adventurers the PCs might aspire to, who have seized control by unorthodox means and now crouch on their troubled thrones, claiming descent from some god or hero. The great- walled city of Troy has fallen, and men will never again attempt to build on such a scale again. Even now, the PCs should encounter monumental, eerily-deserted ruins of the age that has just past, which dwarf in size and grandeur the squalid huts of their home villages. The large cities that remain should be grand, imposing, and in a state of gradual decline.

Everywhere, the signs of the gods' displeasure are evident. Women give birth to horrifying monstrosities in secret, which are kept carefully hidden or run free to despoil and ruin as they will. The roads are unsafe to travel, save in large, well-armed bands, being the haunts of brigands, monsters, and men who, living beyond the flickering light of civilization, have become little more than beasts themselves. The seas are treacherous as well, and mariners find themselves prey to reavers, petty wars between island kingdoms, and terrifying creatures of the deep, who multiply unchecked in waters far from the common trade routes.

The Themes:

Competition and Strife bring out excellence: Closely tied to the concept of arete (excellence) is the idea that someone, somewhere, must be the best at a given thing, and that one must constantly strive to be the best and be recognized as such. The Greeks applied this attitude toward all facets of life -- athletics, poetry, song, horsemanship, warfare, etc. In a properly Greek setting, there should be constant pressure between characters (PCs and NPCs-- even on the same side) to outdo each other in feats of daring, ingenuity, martial prowess, etc. The one who comes in second is to be pitied, but the one who does not compete is only worthy of contempt. On the level of clans, communities, and city-states, this often leads to years of protracted warfare, bitter feuds, populations slaughtered and enslaved and cities burnt to the ground.

Man is mortal, glory is eternal: Player characters, particularly in games like this, are rather fragile, especially when starting out. This is to their credit. The immortal gods cannot be valorous, as they can never risk death by their actions. That honor and distinction is left to mortals, like your player characters. The only way for them to achieve immortality is to perform deeds worthy of song. Play up the importance of kleos -- the glory spoken of by others. This should serve as a spur to action, and a few obols here and there to the right bards and minstrels will do wonders for their reputation.

The Age of Heroes is passing away, to be replaced by the Age of Iron: While many continue to publicly uphold the ideals of the past age, they do not hold them in their hearts as they once did. Honor and Glory are sacrificed for expediency. Sons rebel against their fathers, wives murder their husbands, strangers are turned away at the door or betrayed by their hosts. Emphasize the growing sense of lawlessness, danger, and decline. Will the player characters stand out as anachronisms-- boldly embodying the virtues of the Heroic Age? Or will they make the most of this unscrupulous new era?

The Foes:

The Gods The gods are superhuman, but not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent. Like mortals, they are subject to the Fates. They are by turns benevolent, wrathful, perverse, lustful, petty, and majestic, according to their whims. While the gods may walk the earth from time to time, the PCs (and their players) should never be quite sure whether they have encountered one "in the flesh." Like Nyarlathotep, they assume many guises and masks as they go about their business on earth. Keep the gods offstage for the most part-- if they must speak at all, let it be through the cryptic, ecstatic utterances of Sibyls and Oracles. Since the gods are basically the personification of observable forces-- thunder and lightning, wine and drunkenness, love, lust and obsession, plague and sickness, the sea, etc., let the gods manifest through unusually strong or freak displays of these forces.

Monsters
As I mentioned before, the iconic status of the monsters of Greek Mythology make tempting antagonists, but their appearances, strengths, and weaknesses are so well known that "The Weird" is compromised through this familiarity. Use monsters like Medusa, the hydra, etc., sparingly if at all. Rather, use them for inspiration to create your own monsters in a similar vein. Many of them were formerly ordinary men and women, cursed by the gods for some real or perceived wrongdoing. When designing a monster in the Greek tradition, first think of a person, and then a transgression for them to commit. Murder? Rape? Incest? Unusual cruelty? Cannibalism? Refusing the advances of a god or goddess? (never mind that the gods themselves are frequent offenders in many of these areas themselves -- the laws of proper behavior are for mortals). Then think about the punishment and how this could manifest in the hideous monstrosity they've now become. A malicious gossip might now literally drip poison into the ears of her victims. A blaspheming poet might be given a voice that drives his listeners into a murderous rage. Each such monster should be singular and local to a particular area.

Outlaws, pirates, and brigands
These haunt trade routes and mountain passes, a symbol of the growing lawlessness of the world. Particularly memorable brigands will have some horrific trick to how they dispatch their victims. In the legend of Theseus, the hero must contend with Prokrustes, who stretches or amputates his "guests" in order to fit his bed, and Sinis, who tied his victims between two bent pine trees and then let them go, splitting them in half.

Beast-men and wild women. Encountered in wild places. These have forsaken civilization entirely and live like beasts, often (as in the case of satyrs) taking on the features of the animals whose behavior they have come to typify. Alternately savage and beguiling.

The Underworld
Wealth buried in the ground is the de facto property of Hades, and adventurers venturing beneath the earth are not only plundering the dead, but stealing the rightful spoils of a god.

The Soundtrack: Basil Poledouris- Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer soundtracks. Other than that, I'm outta suggestions. Any help filling in this section would be appreciated.

Literary and Cinematic Inspirations:
Euripides- Medea, The Bacchae, Hippolytus, H.P. Lovecraft- “The Tree,” E.A. Poe- “Shadow: A Parable,” Ovid- Metamorphoses, Homer- The Iliad and The Odyssey, Mary Renault- The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea, Robert Graves- Hercules, My Shipmate and Eric Shanower's Age of Bronze comic book series, Appolonius of Rhodes- Argonautika.

Jason and the Argonauts (1963), Clash of the Titans (1981), Jim Henson's The Storyteller: The Greek Myths(1990), various Italian sword-and-sandal movies -- Hercules in the Haunted World (1961) is particularly stylish and useful, as director Mario Bava introduces an element of horror and creepiness), Iphygenia (1982) Troy (2004) (for the visuals, anyway)

Historical, Mythological, and Fortean Inspirations: Herodotus- The Histories, Robert Graves-- The Greek Myths (heavily influenced by J.G. Fraser's The Golden Bough, and packed with an odd blend of scholarly erudition and wild-ass theorizing, but the book's eccentricities only make it that much better for gaming inspiration), The Eleusinian Mysteries, the palace complex at Knossos, the citadels of Mycenae, The Oracle at Delphi, the Labyrinth, Pliny's Natural History, The Legend of Theseus, Orpheus and Orphic cults, The Trojan War, Atlantis, Circe, Medea.

Gaming Inspirations: GURPS: Greece, Mazes & Minotaurs and Tomb of the Bull King, Caverns of Thracia (Judges Guild), Mythic Greece for Rolemaster, AGON by John Harper, Age of Heroes (AD&D 2nd ed.), "Stealing the Histories" by Michael Curtis (article on using Herodotus as inspiration for sandbox campaigns-- Knockspell #4), "The Dungeon as a Mythic Underworld" by Philotomy, Jonathan Walton's notes for Argonauts (sadly, all that was released before the project fizzled into vaporware -- Daedalus #1 .

Weird Greece Kickstart Table (d4)

1. A local tyrant clings precariously to his throne. His claim to legitimacy rests on his alleged descent from a semi-divine hero of the Trojan War and founder of the tyrant's city. He will offer an exorbitant sum for the retrieval of the hero's armor, which he plans to display prominently in appearances throughout his capitol. The armor itself is huge-- larger by a half than the tallest man living, and is said to lie beneath a nearby cave, rumored to be one of the many entrances to the Underworld.

2. Women in a nearby village have been giving birth to monsters-- strange, pale, silent things with useless, elongated hands and feet, a set of pointed teeth, and the cold, black eyes of birds. What is the reason for the curse that has settled on the village, and how can it be broken?

3. A city is holding its Games when the PCs arrive. The material rewards (not to mention the fame) to be won are considerable, but the contestants are soon dropping dead from a mysterious sickness. Is this a case of poisoning? Sorcery? Some of course, will blame the PCs themselves...

4. The PCs find themselves shipwrecked on a mysterious island. The island's inhabitants (about 20 people in all) have constructed a tawdry replica of Troy out of driftwood, the hulls of other shipwrecks, and what appear to be human bones. They are all quite insane, and play out an endless drama of their own devising, drawing on elements of mythology and their own obsessions. The PCs, of course, will be cast in parts of their own. Do they attempt to play along, hoping to find a means of escape, or do they take their chances in the surrounding forests?

To- Do List

2011-07-05T23:46:00.001-04:00

A few things I have planned for the blog's immediate future. I jotted this stuff down earlier in my little pocket notebook but I'm putting it up here to shame myself into actually doing everything on the list. This isn't exhaustive, by any means, but I want to at least make a sizable dent in it by the end of the month.

1. Lament for the Wheel of Black: an LotFP hack for M.A.R. Barker's world of Tekumel, stripping it down to the more gonzo, pulpy sword-and-planet version of Tekumel presented in Barker's original Empire of the Petal Throne RPG.

~~2. Some entries for Zak S.'s Vornheim contest. Deadline's fast approaching...~~

~~3. Weird Greece, with revisions.~~

3. More material for Weird Rome, with notes on RPing in the ancient world.

4. Psychedelic Warlords (working title) A mini-setting for trippy space fantasy in the vein of Jodorowsky's Metabarons, The Fifth Element, Zardoz, the Art of Richard Corben, Philippe Druillet, and Moebius. The sort of thing that comes to mind while listening to Hawkwind's Space Ritual.

5. A Hexcrawl set on a fictional Mediterranean island. If you're familiar with Over the Edge, this would be my take on Al-Amarja -- what I wanted Al-Amarja to be, anyway, rather than the surprisingly bland venue for a hodgepodge of weirdness that it was presented as.

6. I like what Nathan Ballingrud's doing with his serialized "Cannibal Priests of New England." A fiction serial might be fun.

Weird Rome: A setting-sketch for Lamentations of the Flame Princess

2011-07-04T02:41:00.000-04:00

Well, I might as well get started with some content.

I originally posted this to this thread on RPG.net, where MisterGuignol has done an excellent job of breaking down and delineating a slew of mini-settings for James Raggi's Lamentations of the Flame Princess RPG. Since LotFP is skewed more toward the "weird fiction" of Howard, Lovecraft, Clark Ashton Smith, et al, establishing the proper atmosphere becomes very important-- to really play to the game's strengths, you need to establish a markedly different feel from the more "epic fantasy" tone of D&D 4th ed., for instance, and MisterGuignol's mini-settings provide vivid, easy-to-digest capsules of concentrated weird. Anyway, someone asked for Greek and Roman settings with a weird slant and MisterGuignol generously gave his consent for me to actually get some use out of my Classics degree. This will eventually be collected (along with all the other mini-settings from the thread) into a .pdf, but in the meantime, I thought I'd put my contributions up on the blog.

First up is Rome:

Rome: ad limites Imperii

“Inscriptions still visible in the sub-cellar bore such unmistakable letters as “DIV*.*.*. OPS*.*.*. MAGNA. MAT*.*.*. “ sign of the Magna Mater whose dark worship was once vainly forbidden to Roman citizens. Anchester had been the camp of the third Augustan legion, as many remains attest, and it was said that the temple of Cybele was splendid and thronged with worshippers who performed nameless ceremonies at the bidding of a Phrygian priest." -- H.P. Lovecraft, "The Rats in the Walls."

Here, the players are citizens of a powerful, expanding Empire. While it may appear stable and solid from the outside, fissures appear here and there in the fabric of Empire, growing wider and deeper as it grows in influence and dominion. A Roman or Rome-inspired campaign can easily accommodate themes from "The Weird North," "Pilgrims in a Strange Land," and "The Urban Weird," but Imperialism imparts a unique flavor of its own. With some tweaking, the Referee could substitute a later empire for the Roman model presented here-- imagine the film Gunga Din with Roman legionaries instead of British officers, for example, with the Cult of Cybele replacing that of Kali.

The Setting: The mid 2nd-century. Rome is at the height of her power, with her borders stretching from the scorching deserts of Arabia to the freezing, forested wastes of northern Britain. All roads lead to Rome and those roads are crowded with folk of every description. Players will encounter merchants and traders on the make, crafty slaves and uncouth freedmen, soldiers in gleaming array,, inscrutable Latin-mangling foreigners, bringing their strange customs and stranger gods into the Empire's very heart, aristocratic officers and administrators, burning with family pride, aghast at their own waning fortunes and the success of the upstart, lower-class "new men" who have flourished since the demise of the Republic. Here are prostitutes and actors, swaggering gladiators living in pampered servitude.

But this is all in the open. On the fringes and beneath the surface, outside the rigidly proscribed boundaries of fort walls, Roman roads, and social conventions, strangeness breeds and multiplies, and corruption and decadence take root. The plain, no-nonsense agrarian soul of Rome, the mos maiores (customs of the ancestors) that defeated Hanibal and brought the Greek city-states under Roman domination are themselves under constant threat. Women of good family, not content to be obedient daughters and chaste matronaeforsake their duty for luxury, admitting the embraces of slaves and freedmen. They abort their lawful and unlawful offspring, the better to enjoy enjoy unabated those pleasures to which they have accustomed themselves, and concoct poisons to serve their husbands when the latter become too dull or troublesome. They make a study of charms and curses to ensnare potential lovers and punish rivals and unwilling suitors. Young men, in defiance of their manly forbears, give in to softness and effeminacy,preferring poetry and music, silks and perfumes to the soldier's boot and the sober toga of a citizen. Both seek out strange new gods, imported from far-flung regions of the empire, and attend outlandish and unseemly rites in their honor, in their insatiable desire for novelty and stimulation.

The Themes: Graecia capta ferum victorem cepit et artis intulit agresti Latio --"Conquered Greece took captive her savage conqueror and brought her arts into rustic Latium."- Horace, Book II, epistle i, lines 156-157. Even as the Empire conquers the world without, she is conquered from within. While the Empire's strength is far-reaching and overt, dangerous elements from conquered territories work their way insidiously into the Imperial bloodstream, coursing along the arteries of Rome's roads all the way to the Empire's very heart. This is an inescapable consequence of the Empire's success, as those very qualities that once defined Rome's national character prove vulnerable to the onslaught of foreign influences as she acquires new territories and dominions. While many find Roman ideals desirable (as well as the benefits of citizenship) the attraction goes both ways, as the influx of wealth and novelties (in religion, dress, etc.) prove irresistible to a populace raised on stark, rustic ideals. Play up the "strangeness" and "otherness" of everything "non-Roman" and the constant tension between the rough-and-ready, hard-headed, practical Roman ideal, and the cultured, Greek-speaking, cosmopolitan ideal of the polished urbanite. How much polish can one acquire without a loss of virtue and good sense? Which elements from the cultures of subject peoples can be safely and usefully acquired, and which lead inevitably toward corruption, decadence, and madness?

Others (I can well believe) will hammer out bronze that breathes
with more delicacy than us, draw out living features
from the marble: plead their causes better, trace with instruments
the movement of the skies, and tell the rising of the constellations:
remember, Roman, it is for you to rule the nations with your power,
(that will be your skill) to crown peace with law,
to spare the conquered, and subdue the proud. - Virgil, Aeneid VI lines 847-853 trans. Kline

While the PCs themselves may be dutiful servants of Empire or (more likely) a gang of violent misfits-- who else goes adventuring for a living?-- the Imperial mandate exists as an ever-present stamp on their daily lives. Unusual eloquence, artistic skill, and more arcane arts are often considered somewhat suspect, at best. Slaves, freedmen, women, and religious and ethnic minorities operate, to some extent, outside the mainstream of Roman public life, and adventurers (by their very nature being unusual and extraordinary) often find themselves the victims of injustice, indifference, and suspicion from a society which stresses assimilation, tradition, and conformity. Emphasize the gulf between the PC's expected roles (gender, social status, ethnicity) with the iconoclastic realities of the adventuring life.

Patrons and Clients-- the ties that bind. While many bemoan the current state of the patron/client relationship, it's still a powerful force in society. Loyalty to one's patron and (to a regrettably lesser extent) responsibility to one's clients and dependents informs everything from political and family life to religion. Roman religion, after all, is merely an extension of this relationship toward the divine-- an arrangement between worshiper and deity in which the former provides honors and sacrifices and the latter provides protection and favor, in turn. When this relationship breaks down in any of these contexts, the forces unleashed are often violent, corrosive, and unpredictable.

Applicable Themes from Other Settings:

Civilization versus the Wild—make the outpost a place that the characters have a vested interest in defending. Make it clear that the outpost is civilization's first and best line of defense against something monstrous that could spell doom for all humanity. Imperil their community; make them scramble to protect the life they know.

Class warfare—the town is home to barely-repressed social resentments. The poor and the rich hate each other instinctively, the old money has a vested interest in keeping the middle and working classes from gaining too large a share of cultural capital, the disenfranchised minority is kept at the menial, abject fringes of society. If your group has the stomach for it, you might even work racial tensions into this heady brew of contention.

Discipline is survival—the only way to persevere against the savagery of the new world is to remain stoic and disciplined in the face of chaos. Rigid adherence to law and order requires that the colonists forge their souls from cold iron to weather the misfortunes of this strange land.The beacon of civilization is surrounded by barbarism—the colony's survival is a fragile thing. Natural dangers, bloodthirsty braves, and supernatural threats encircle the colony and any venture into the forest is a likely suicide mission. While the subjugation of the wilderness will necessarily entail some loss of life, the greatest threat is that the colonists will abandon their civilized ways and fight savagery with savagery.

Many of these themes are already familiar to readers of Weird/Pulp Fiction-- particularly in Howard (the corrupting, softening effects of civilization) and Lovecraft (the threats to civilization from barbaric and/or decadent forces), and these concerns are mirrored in Tacitus' "noble savages" portrayal of the Germans and Juvenal's xenophobic portrait of foreigner-infested Rome in the Satires. Referees and players must decide how much of this reactionary attitude they wish to stress in their games.

The Foes:
Barbarian Hordes from the North - Huge, uncouth, and undisciplined, yet possessed of certain simple virtues that Rome herself has lost. The implacable foe is feared and hated but respected, and the Romanized native accepted to a certain extent, but perhaps viewed with some suspicion and contempt.

Barbarians from the East-- Cowardly, devious, and deadly. In war, they strike with lies and arrows from fleeing horsemen. In peace, they seduce and corrupt with their decadent ways and strange gods.

Sorcerers and Mountebanks- pretty much foreign by definition. At best, they will merely cheat you. At worst, their powers are real and harmful to all involved.

The Ancient Gods of Conquered Peoples, and their Cults-- While Rome has co-opted and conflated many of the gods of the conquered, some are not so easily tamed or assimilated. The ancient Etruscan gods of Rome's deposed kings, worshiped in secret by citizens of certain lineages; The Great Mother Cybele, whose castrated priests are an unnerving sight as they wind their way through the streets in bizarre processions... Certain cultists of Bacchus might fit into this group, as the rites have been at times suppressed in the ostensible interest of public order and decency. What other nameless cults and orders observe their rituals throughout the empire-- inimical to Rome and her allies?

Witches and wicked women-- From withered, disgusting crones collecting the bones of dead children to beautiful adulteresses skilled in poisons, curses, and love-draughts, these represent a total rejection of feminine modesty and decorum, and leave chaos and evil in their wake. Unlike the barbarians, these women are all the more dangerous because their wickedness is masked by an outward show of venerable age or respectability.

The Soundtrack: Peter Gabriel- Passion and Passion Sources, HBO's Rome Soundtrack.

Literary and Cinematic Inspirations: Apuleius- The Golden Ass (sex, violence, casual cruelty, and witchcraft!) Petronius- The Satyricon (featuring, among other things, depraved cultists, tasteless spectacle, thieving and con-artistry, more sex, violence, casual cruelty and witchcraft, and a story about a werewolf) Catullus- LXIII (a shift in tone and style from his “Lesbia” poems-- this is an exhilarating and terrifying account of the goddess Cybele and her consort Attis, and his ecstatic self-castration), The Book of Acts, the satires of Horace and Juvenal, R.E. Howard- "Men of the Shadows", "Worms of the Earth," "Kings of the Night," misc. novels by John Maddox Roberts, the "Roma sub Rosa" series by Steven Saylor, H.P. Lovecraft- "The Very Old Folk," Richard Tierney- The Drums of Chaos and The Scroll of Thoth: Tales of Simon Magus and the Great Old Ones, Shakespeare- Julius Caesar and Titus Andronicus

Fellini's Satyricon, Centurion, The Eagle, HBO's Rome, I, Claudius (both the BBC miniseries and the Robert Graves novels I, Claudius and Claudius the God).

Historical and Fortean Inspirations:*Lead cursing tablets, the vanished 9th Legion, Lucan- Pharsalia 6.588-830 (A Thessalian witch reanimates a dead soldier), Magic, Witchcraft, and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman Worlds by Daniel Ogden, Phlegon of Tralles' Book of Marvels (A 2nd century Charles Fort's account of “prodigies”), Georg Luck's Arcana Mundi: Magic and the Occult in the Greek and Roman Worlds, Mystery Cults (Mithras, Isis, Cybele), Lucian of Samosata-- “Alexander the False Prophet” (a hatchet-job on a 2nd century con-man and founder of the prophetic cult of Glycon-- a human-headed snake worshiped today by Alan Moore), Etruscan tomb-mounds and divination with sheep's livers.

Gaming Inspirations: Cthulhu Invictus for Call of Cthulhu, Jason E. Roberts' FVLMINATA, Paul Elliot's Zenobia, Requiem for Rome for Vampire: The Requiem (set in the Late Empire, but the long intro by Ken Hite is pure gold), Paul Czege's Bacchanal.

Weird Rome: Kickstart Table (d4)

1. The PCs are stationed at a distant outpost of the Empire. The province is officially subdued, but can the supposedly Romanized new auxilleries be trusted? And what of their still-barbarous cousins beyond the fort wall? Will they put aside their squabbling and unite? You can't think about that, now, as the garrison commander has just been found murdered in the settlement's new forum in broad daylight.

2. The PCs must journey to visit an important friend or patron, but the road to his villa lies beyond bandit-infested hills and lonely roadside graveyards. And what of the old Etruscan tomb-mounds that dot the landscape, and the sounds that issue forth at night?

3. The PCs are guests at a lavish party held by a wealthy local freedman. As the night wears on, the entertainments become more bizarre and grotesque, and reality blurs with strange, fevered visions. How to leave, and how to find the way home again through now-unfamiliar streets? What was in that wine?

4. A friend, family member, lover, or important contact of the PCs has disappeared while visiting the provinces. Why are the local authorities so evasive, and what's the meaning of those strange, nightly processions?

Testing... testing...

2011-07-04T01:34:00.000-04:00

I'm starting this blog as a spur for creativity and production, and as an attempt to get past my habits of procrastination, chronic laziness, crippling self-doubt and perfectionism to actually produce something and put it out there for people to see. Time will tell.

It's ostensibly a gaming blog focusing on material for tabletop RPGs, but I'm expecting to veer off into other subjects with some frequency-- movies, comic books, fantasy, horror, science fiction, reviews and essays, and any random things I get interested in or obsessed with. Possibly some fiction as well, though that'll probably be quarantined in its own section.